Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

School are places where the nation leaders are made. In schools a student spends aproximately 6 to 7 hours of his day. a child gats the admission in school at the age of five and this age is basically the age of personality building as well as learning new things.It has been noticed that mostly chidren dislikes schools because they have to spend half of its day at there.The major reason of this dislikement is basically this schools focused on the formal learning.They focused on cramming as well as writing .So in such kind of environment children become fed up and want to free.Mostly schools have not the facility of the playground thats why children have to detained in the classroom .According to my opinion if the child would remian in the classroom for too long period he would not be able to focus on his studies . So games are also important for the good health for the child .If the schhol would include activities with learning then student take much intrest and they will learn more better way .during my teaching tenure i noticed that student who are studing in small schools they are always looking for the exceuses to go outside the classroom because they say we became exhausted by sitting at one place where as the student who are learnig at spacious school building and school is focusing on both curricular and ectra curricular activities these student are much more better in studies and they are more focused in the classroom so its my opinion that curricular as well as extracurricular activities both are important and neither of them can be neglected.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the question: you argue that formal, classroom-based learning can make children tired and that play and extracurricular activities support health, interest, and concentration. Your teaching experience gives the response a relevant example, particularly the contrast between students in small schools and those in spacious schools offering activities. However, the position is clearest near the end rather than being stated directly at the outset, and some claims are asserted rather than explained. For instance, the comparison between school types does not show clearly how play improves learning. Develop this link with a specific example, and explain more fully what balance between formal lessons and play you consider appropriate.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable line of thought, moving from children’s dislike of school to the value of play and then to your teaching experience. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, so the main points and example are difficult to distinguish. Several linking expressions, such as “thats why,” “where as,” and “so,” are repeated or used to join ideas that need clearer separation. Some references are also unclear, including “these student” after the comparison between small and spacious schools. Organise the essay into an introduction, separate body paragraphs for the problems of formal learning and the benefits of play, and a conclusion. Use linking phrases selectively and make each paragraph’s central point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “cramming,” “playground,” “curricular,” and “extracurricular activities.” These terms help communicate your main ideas, but the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning less natural. For example, “dislikement” is not the appropriate noun, “want to free” does not express the intended idea clearly, and “learn more better way” is awkward. Spelling errors such as “aproximately,” “intrest,” and “exceuses” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range for discussing classroom learning and child development, and check spelling and common word partnerships when editing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional forms such as “if the child would remain in the classroom for too long period” and a longer comparison beginning “where as the student…”. However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries occur throughout. Examples include “School are places,” “a child gats the admission,” and “student… they are,” where singular and plural forms do not agree. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, with several sentences running together. Practise building shorter, accurate sentences first, then combine related ideas using controlled clauses. Pay particular attention to subject–verb agreement, articles, and full stops.

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