Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the contemporary world, some individulas argue that primary schools are pay too much attention on the learners for formal learning. While, other peoples are reject that point, they said, that are both learning and activities are essencial for students. Discus both piont of view birefly and give opinion about this discussion.

On the one hand, comanly some peoples are not sport activities during the primary education. They think it was very important for children to learn study firstly with out ant distruction. In the primary school, children should focuse on their study subjects and developed skills about their behavoiur or do not pay attention other formal excercises. During the primary study, formal activities are absorbe a lot of attention on the students, the result is comes out the shape of lack intrest in study. The student becomes poor they lose their interest in study, that is destroy learners career.

On the other hand, some individuals think it is good for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom because relaxation of children mind is essencial. Student studing whole day with out any break they fed up by studing and feel overwehlemed. In contrast, they surfered from stress and other health issues. That is why, formal activites are significant for children. They studing their subject in enjoyable way and learn new developing skills which is helpfull for their career. If primary school teachers are provide formal envoirnment to students and teach potaitly, students doing their work properly with fresh mind and develop good habits on their own self and behaviour.

In conclusion, the formal study in primary school is play a vital role for children's future. Although, is crucial to built a balance between formal and informal study for primary shools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address the general topic and include ideas about both formal study and play, such as the risk that children become stressed without breaks and the value of learning in an enjoyable way. However, the response only partially answers the exact questions. The opening says “Discuss both point of view,” although the task asks how far you agree and how important classroom play is; your own position is not clearly stated until the brief conclusion, and even there it is difficult to interpret. Several claims, including that formal study “destroy[s] learners career,” are asserted without a specific explanation or example. State your degree of agreement directly, then develop each main reason with a clear example relevant to primary-school children.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the change in viewpoint, so the reader can follow the broad structure. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven: the first body paragraph moves from opposition to sports activities to the effects of formal study without clearly connecting these points. Some linking phrases are inaccurate or mechanical, and the conclusion introduces a balance between formal and informal study without clearly resolving the position. Improve the logical sequence by giving each paragraph one central claim, explaining it, and linking the explanation to the task question.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary related to education and wellbeing, including “formal learning,” “relaxation,” “overwhelmed,” “stress,” and “developing skills.” This gives you some relevant language for the topic. However, the range is limited and many spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make parts difficult to understand, for example “individulas,” “distruction,” “absorbe a lot of attention,” and “formal envoirnment.” Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “formal activities” when you appear to mean classroom learning or lessons. Build a reliable set of topic-specific phrases and check spelling and natural combinations; for instance, use “focus on academic subjects” and “take part in physical activities.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional beginning “If primary school teachers…” and a contrast introduced by “Although.” However, many sentences contain frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction, which sometimes make the intended meaning hard to follow. Examples include “primary schools are pay,” “other peoples are reject,” and “students doing their work properly.” The final sentence, “Although, is crucial to built a balance,” is incomplete and does not form a correct subordinate clause. Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then add clauses: for example, “If teachers provide a supportive environment, pupils can work more effectively.”

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