Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people argue that formal learning is too much focused in the primary schools I completely disagree with this opinion as I believe that most schools have physical education (PE) classes.Additionaly, I think physical education is as much important as the the formal learning.

On the one hand, people argue that most of the schools now a days focus mainly on the theoritical education. They believe that schools carriculum have been more focussed on the children theoritical knowledge. However, I believe that most schools nowadays teach primary students physical education and they engage them in multiple sports activities. As a result children become more active, and learn leadership skill from the very young age when competed with other students. Also their physical strength increases as well as the agility of the students which help them move around quickly.

On the other hand, I also believe that learning in the classes is also equally important because teachers help students learn basic theoritical things which help them understand the foundation of all the things around them. For example, If children only play in the school they lack behind in the all the other aspects of life. Educating children from young age helps build their foundations, if the foundation is weak as a result children will not be able to understand complex things when they grow up.

In conclusion, I believe that physical activities and theoritical learning go hand in hand in developing children's character and their physical well being. It should be responsibility of teachers to engage students in physical activities as it helps them become physically strong and aslo they should teach students formal learning as it will help students understand complex things more easily in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you argue that physical activity and classroom learning are both important. You address both questions and give relevant reasons, including the benefits of sport and the need for a strong academic foundation. However, the first part is not fully explored: saying that schools provide PE does not establish how much time or emphasis they give it, and the claim that most schools offer sports activities is not supported with a specific example. The discussion of play is also mainly about PE and physical strength, rather than the broader value of play in classroom learning. Develop these points with a concrete example and explain how play supports learning as well as wellbeing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting considerations, and a conclusion that restates your position. The signposts “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help readers follow the shift between ideas. Within paragraphs, however, some links feel mechanical, and the relationship between claims is not always made explicit. For example, the first body paragraph moves from schools’ theoretical focus to sports, then to leadership and physical strength without clearly showing how these points answer whether formal learning is overemphasised. The conclusion also repeats several ideas rather than drawing them together. Use clearer cause-and-effect links and develop one main point at a time; check references such as “they” so it is always clear who or what they refer to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “physical education,” “leadership skill,” “agility,” “foundation,” and “physical well being.” These choices make your main ideas understandable, and you attempt some more specific terms. However, inaccurate spelling and word choice reduce precision: “theoritical” and “carriculum” are misspelled, while “children lack behind” is not the appropriate expression. Some phrases are also awkward or repetitive, such as “formal learning” and “theoretical” appearing several times, and “as much important” is not a natural collocation. Aim to use accurate topic vocabulary and vary repeated terms, while checking spelling and whether phrases sound natural in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If children only play in the school…” and a relative clause in “things which help them understand.” Most of your meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors occur across the response. For example, the opening sentence joins two independent clauses without suitable punctuation, and “most of the schools… focus” has an agreement problem. There are also errors with articles and sentence construction in “when competed with other students” and “in the all the other aspects of life.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, including “If” after “For example” and missing spaces after full stops. Review clause boundaries, agreement, and article use, then proofread punctuation.

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