Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I agree this statement many school focus on the formal learning rather than involve in the activites which is the major drawback of school . and these types of students have not bright future because they just learn what the written in the books they have not knowledge about the reality of life a if we talk about the chinese and japaneese student they focus on the practical rather then just read or formal study or just gain the passing tmarks in the schools.

The main disadvantge of the school just focus on the study but are not focus on the other activites which related to study like prep student are not interest in the study because they enter in the newly study and the age is just 3 or 4 year they learn from the games or just not study whole the day. Last night, I saw the video of chinses school, the play group student they learned the reality of life the teacher allocated the different designation and distribution the professional into the student like some student are the doctor and some are lawyer and some are the tailor or fashion designer and chilren were the very happy to perform this activities.

The main benefit is that if these activities are involved in the education they know the reailty of life and must be practical perform and i think mostly student are interest in study and other procs is that you know the interest of chilrdren becuade in our cultural we just burden of study on student and we just ignor which type of professional choose and the main reason many students is not gain the success in the life becuase they do not know the interest.

In conclusion my opinion is that children learn more through the playing study because the brain capture or learn naturally and school or the educational system should be changed and focus on the reality of life rather then formal education

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that schools give too much attention to formal study, and you explain why play-based activities matter. The examples of young children learning through role-play as doctors, lawyers and designers, and of students being burdened with study, are relevant to both questions. However, the discussion of the disadvantages of formal learning is more developed than the explanation of how play and learning should be balanced in the classroom. Some claims, such as students having “not bright future,” are broad and would be stronger with a clearer explanation or a specific example. To strengthen the response, address both parts equally and explain how play can support academic learning rather than replace it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an opening position, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. The second body paragraph gives a concrete example, and the final paragraph returns to your main view. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are joined in long, loosely connected sentences. For example, the opening moves from formal learning to students’ futures and then to Chinese and Japanese students without clearly showing how each point connects. Linking phrases such as “The main disadvantage” and “The main benefit” help signal stages, but some connections are mechanical or unclear. Use shorter sentences, organise each paragraph around one main point, and make references such as “these activities” explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “practical,” “professional” and “interest,” and the role-play example gives you opportunities to discuss different occupations. However, the range is limited and several words or phrases are repeated, particularly “study,” “student” and “activities.” There are also noticeable spelling and word-choice problems, such as “disadvantge,” “reailty,” “chilrdren” and “passing tmarks,” which can make parts of the message harder to understand. Some combinations are not natural in English, including “perform this activities” and “burden of study on student.” Build a wider set of accurate phrases for classroom learning, play and children’s development, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and the response communicates a consistent general opinion. However, complex sentences are often difficult to control, as in “I agree this statement many school focus on the formal learning,” where the clause structure and verb forms are unclear. There are also recurring problems with articles, plurals and agreement, for example “the age is just 3 or 4 year” and “many students is not gain the success.” Punctuation and sentence boundaries need attention: the opening contains several separate ideas joined together, while the conclusion also combines multiple claims in one sentence. Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause, then check verb forms and subject–verb agreement.

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