Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is debatable rather school should just focus on formal learning or there should also be some kind of extracurricular activities too in primary schools. In my opinion, students should have extracurricular activities along with their primary school education.

In detail, focusing just on curriculum and not having a free time or other creative activities will halt the child's brain development and makes the child to loose interest in education. These activities are not waste of time, instead they activate the creative part of child's brain and develop critical thinking skills. In Pakistan, schools usually focus on formal learning and competitions with other schools. While, Chinese schools have developed a whole plan in which study time is assigned along with other activities and projects even in primary schools. The Chinese students are so much talented that they have made a lot of unique models. The reason behind it is that the teachers in China focus on everything including education, skill development, extracurricular activities, communication, critical thinking and many more.

Continuous classess with no break or one small break make students uninterested in schools. It is scientifically proven that while studying you should have breaks or play to enhance your learning skills and to prevent burnouts. Continuous learning will drain child's energy and make them frustrated. There should be five to ten minutes break after each lecture. Teachers should add creative activities and game sessions in between formal education lectures. These strategies improve the stamina of a child and make them able to think from a broader perspective.

In conclusion, too much emphasis on formal education is of no benefit. Along with school education, there should be creative activities and playing time for the primary school students. This leads to more intelligent students who are critical thinkers too.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear: you argue that primary pupils need creative activities and play alongside formal education. You address both the concern about excessive formal learning and the importance of play, and support your view with relevant points about engagement, creativity, critical thinking and breaks. The examples comparing schools in Pakistan and China also help illustrate your argument. To make the response more fully developed, explain the comparison more carefully: claims such as Chinese students being “so much talented” and the link between their achievements and school activities are broad and not supported with a specific example. You could also connect the suggested five-to-ten-minute breaks more directly to classroom learning and explain how play can complement, rather than replace, formal lessons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop reasons and practical suggestions, and the conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally progress logically, particularly from the effects of continuous lessons to proposed breaks and activities. You also use linking expressions such as “In detail,” “While,” and “In conclusion.” However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “While” introduces the Pakistan–China comparison without a complete contrast, and “These strategies” could refer to several different suggestions. The first body paragraph also moves quickly from brain development to national school systems. For stronger progression, use more precise transitions and make each paragraph’s central point explicit before adding examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss education, including “creative activities,” “critical thinking skills,” “skill development,” and “broader perspective.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and some less common terms show an effort to be specific. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “halt the child's brain development,” “loose interest,” “made a lot of unique models,” and “improve the stamina of a child.” There are also spelling errors, including “classess” and “burnouts.” These do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and naturalness. Aim to learn common academic collocations and check spelling; for example, describe activities as “supporting cognitive development” rather than “activating the creative part” of the brain.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional and explanatory structures such as “focusing just on curriculum … will halt” and “while studying you should have breaks.” The overall meaning is usually clear, but grammatical control is uneven, and some sentence patterns contain errors. For example, “It is debatable rather school should” needs a construction such as “It is debatable whether schools should”; “will halt … and makes” has inconsistent verb forms; and “make the child to loose” uses an incorrect infinitive pattern. Articles and plurals also need attention in phrases such as “free time,” “child's energy,” and “primary school students.” Review subject–verb agreement, verb patterns, and sentence punctuation, then proofread for consistent forms.

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