Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Partly agree, Academic learning is important, but play is also necessary for children's developement.

Some people belives that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal education whereas I think both is important. For the study and knowledge improvement the study is important because primary school is the base of each and every students career. If the base got strong then the future study will going to be help in student exams as well as it will help in their career. My base wasn't that much strong because I played too much at my school time that's the reason I'm facing too much problems in college degree. I think formal learning is a wealth of important and necessary for growth in career. But formal learning can gives stress to student and it will indirectly affect on health.

Whereas, I think it is a great deal of importance to play children because children learn operation through team games. On top of that play also improved the creativity of students as well as games also helps to improve students physical health and it indirectly impact on student's formal study growth. Due to a lot of study pressure students can take unwanted step so play is one of the option which reduce stress and give them freedom.

In conclusion, although formal education is important, I believe that play should also be helpful in students mental and physical growth. That's why i think schools should arrange one session for play which not only going to rose student health but also helps in studies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you partly agree that formal learning can be overemphasised, while arguing that play also matters. You address both questions, explaining that academic foundations support later study and careers, and that games can develop teamwork, creativity, and physical health. The personal example about struggling in college because you played too much gives your argument a relevant basis. This meets the task well, but some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, the claim that study pressure may lead students to take an “unwanted step” is unclear and would benefit from a specific explanation. To strengthen the response further, develop how classroom play can complement formal learning, rather than mainly listing its benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for formal learning and play, and a conclusion that restates your position. Linking expressions such as “Whereas,” “On top of that,” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the argument. However, some connections feel mechanical or do not accurately express the relationship between ideas. For example, “Whereas” begins a paragraph that is not a complete contrast, and “Due to a lot of study pressure” introduces a point whose link to the previous sentence is not fully explained. Some references, such as “it” in the final paragraph, could also be clearer. Use transitions that show the precise relationship and connect each supporting point more explicitly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal education,” “team games,” “creativity,” “physical health,” and “stress,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more developed expressions, such as “emphasis on formal education” and “the base of each and every student’s career.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive, which limits precision. Phrases such as “learn operation through team games,” “a wealth of important,” and “rose student health” do not convey your intended meaning naturally. Spelling and word-form errors, including “developement” and “believes,” also affect accuracy. Build a bank of natural topic collocations and check that each chosen phrase fits its context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional and cause-and-effect structures: “If the base got strong then…” and “Due to a lot of study pressure…”. This shows an effort to explain relationships between ideas. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction sometimes make the meaning harder to follow. Examples include “Some people belives,” “both is important,” “the future study will going to be help,” and “formal learning can gives stress.” The long opening sentence also joins a sentence fragment to the main clause with a comma. Practise forming accurate subject–verb patterns and use a full stop or conjunction where needed; then check each sentence for tense and agreement.

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