Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Few individuals say that primary schools concentrate on formal learning. I strongly agree with with that an excessive focus on formal education is counterproductive and play is essential for holistic developent.

Schools focus on learning the reason is that they are in under pressure of competition and they need to show results to parents. which have many negative impacts on childrens.For instance children will remain in stress.They lost their crativity ability.Furthermore also remain cognitive and overloaded.

On the other hand play develop many abilities in childrens.First ability which develop through paly is intellectual ability which very benifical for our childrens. The other ability is leadership through this ability our children can lead any kind of team they can solve any problem . For instance puzzle buidings blocks this game crate the problem solving in childrens. Play also play important role in thier haelth because in this busy life children spent most of thier time on their mobile phones and not doing any physical activity. Therefore playings games make them fit and active.

I think play is not merely benifaical but fundamental.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view by saying you “strongly agree” that excessive formal learning is counterproductive, and you address both the effects of academic pressure and the value of play. The examples of puzzle games and physical activity are relevant. However, the response only partially develops the task: the reasons schools focus on formal learning are briefly stated, and the effects on children are listed rather than explained. The second question—how important play is in the classroom—is answered mainly in the concluding claim that it is “fundamental,” without showing how play should complement learning. The response is also 69 words below the required minimum, which limits the space available to develop and support your ideas. Add specific explanations and examples for both questions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph about formal learning, a paragraph about play, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the main topics, and transitions such as “On the other hand” and “Furthermore” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear. For example, “They lost their crativity ability” and “also remain cognitive and overloaded” are not clearly linked to the preceding point about stress. Some connectors are awkward or repetitive, and the final sentence is too brief to bring the discussion together. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, then explain it and give a relevant example; use clear references and transitions to show how each point supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “competition,” “leadership,” “problem solving,” and “physical activity.” These choices make your main ideas understandable, and “holistic development” is an appropriate attempt at a more academic expression. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to interpret, such as “remain cognitive and overloaded” and “puzzle buidings blocks.” Spelling errors, including “developent,” “crativity,” and “benifical,” are also noticeable. Build a more precise vocabulary for describing learning and child development, and check spelling and natural word combinations. For instance, explain that play can “develop cognitive skills” or “support children’s physical well-being,” rather than relying on unclear phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer structures, including “because in this busy life children spent most of their time on their mobile phones.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “Schools focus on learning the reason is that they are in under pressure” combines clauses without a clear grammatical structure, while “which have many negative impacts on childrens” has an unclear reference and an incomplete sentence connection. There are also problems with verb forms and agreement, as in “Play develop” and “children spent.” Use complete sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses carefully. Review subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation, especially when joining explanations to claims.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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