Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is argued by some that primary schools are encourage students to concentrate on books and traditional leraning. I completely agree with this view. I also believe that playing is extremely important for young children to develop well.

To begin with, primary schools today focus on exams and grades rather than real knowledge. This is because schools want to show high exam results, therefore they force children to memorize the lessons in a short time period. Hence, several students face huge stress during preparation and loss intrest in studying. For instance, a recent study showed that an average six year old children spent two or more hours in their self studies after school. This clearly shows that, high pressure of study enhance children stress level.

On the other hand, including games in the classroom or in their routine is essential for the overall growth of a child. When children play together, they do not just have fun, but they also learn vital life skills like teamwork, communication, and sharing. Furthermore, physical activities keep their body active whole day and refresh their minds, which actually helps them to easily focus on their studies. For example, young children learn mathematical skills though games and puzzles have strong impact on their life and understand tasks easily.

In conclusion, although formal learning is beneficial for academic growth of a student, while games and plays are also play a vital role in their physical and mental life as well. Therefore, schools must be balance both aprroach in the classrooms for better learning experiences.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you completely agree that formal learning receives too much emphasis, and you also state that play is important. Both parts of the question are addressed, with relevant reasons such as exam pressure, stress, teamwork and physical activity. The examples help make the discussion concrete, particularly the reference to children studying after school and learning through games. To make the response more fully developed, explain the examples and their implications in greater detail. For instance, clarify how classroom play could reduce pressure while still supporting academic learning. The claim that schools prioritise grades is also quite broad; a brief qualification or more specific support would make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs discussing formal study and play, and a conclusion. The progression from the drawbacks of exam-focused teaching to the benefits of games is easy to follow. You use linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “Furthermore” to signal relationships between ideas. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. “This is because …, therefore …” combines two linking patterns awkwardly, while “For example” introduces a sentence whose relationship to the preceding point is not fully explained. The conclusion also repeats the contrast rather than drawing the ideas together precisely. Use clearer references and make each example explicitly support the point immediately before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “memorize,” “teamwork,” “communication,” “physical activities,” and “academic growth.” These choices allow you to discuss both learning and child development. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce precision: “leraning,” “intrest,” “self studies,” and “enhance children stress level.” Some phrases are also vague or unnatural, such as “their body active whole day” and “strong impact on their life.” Aim for more accurate academic collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms for exam pressure, classroom activities, and children’s development would help you express the ideas with greater flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and complex sentences, including cause-and-effect structures and clauses beginning with “When” and “which.” This gives the response some variety, and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, errors occur across sentence structures and agreement. For example, “primary schools are encourage students” has an incorrect verb form, and “an average six year old children spent” has problems with article use and singular/plural agreement. The sentence beginning “In conclusion, although…” is incomplete in its construction, while “schools must be balance” uses the wrong verb pattern. Review subject–verb agreement, articles, and how to form clauses with “although.” More accurate control of these patterns would make your meaning clearer.

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