Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Primary schools are the foundation years for the students. Some people argue about primary schools excessively focusing on formal learning. I completely agree with this opinion, while formal learning is important, playing in schools and extracurricular activities are equally important for students.

Primary schools especially in developing countries have out-dated curriculum and focus strictly on formal learning. Many primary schools in countries like Pakistan don't have dedicated sports classes or any other art classes resulting in mental exhaustion of students. Also similar modules are taught to all students which produce a similar mindset in students. Students discover their interests mostly through sports and extracurricular activities which is a rare thing to see in developing countries. For example, my primary school just had a small 30 minutes lunch break during six hours of consecutive teaching of formal courses.

Playing sports and other games in school helps students to refresh and focus better during studies. Researches show that students who take part in extracurricular activities develop better analytical, problem solving and leadership skills compare to those who don't engage in such activities. For example, the school in my hometown which focuses most on sports, after class activities and has the best playgrounds in the city also has the highest number of high achiving alumni across different fields.

In conclusion, primary schools indeed focus excessively on formal learning neglecting physical and creative activities which results in mental exhaustion and creative destruction of students minds. Playing and learning are equally important for students in primary schools to help them unlock their potential and discover their interests.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you completely agree that primary schools overemphasise formal learning, while play and extracurricular activities matter equally. You address both parts of the prompt by explaining the effects of limited activities and why play supports learning. The examples about your school’s short lunch break and the sports-focused school in your hometown make the response relevant and personal. The main limitation is that some claims are broad, such as saying schools in developing countries generally have outdated curricula, and the benefits of play are asserted more than explained. Develop the link between specific activities and children’s learning or wellbeing in more detail, and qualify generalisations to make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall progression: the introduction states your view, the two body paragraphs present reasons and examples, and the conclusion restates your position. Paragraphing is appropriate, and signposts such as “For example” help readers follow the supporting evidence. The ideas within each paragraph are generally ordered logically, moving from limited provision to its effects, then to the benefits of play. Some connections are less smooth: “Also similar modules are taught” introduces a related but distinct point without explaining its link to the previous sentence, while “while” in the opening paragraph creates an awkward relationship between the clauses. Use clearer transitions and make the relationship between each claim and its supporting explanation explicit to strengthen the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “extracurricular activities,” “mental exhaustion,” and “analytical, problem solving and leadership skills.” These choices communicate your main ideas, and some topic-specific language adds precision. However, several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “foundation years for the students,” “creative destruction of students minds,” and “high achiving alumni.” There are also spelling errors, including “out-dated” and “achiving.” These do not prevent understanding, but they limit the accuracy and naturalness of the vocabulary. Aim to use familiar collocations precisely, and proofread spelling and possessive forms; avoid dramatic expressions unless their meaning is clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including relative clauses (“students who take part…”) and a subordinate clause beginning “while formal learning is important.” Most sentences remain understandable, and the range is sufficient to express comparisons, causes and examples. Some grammatical errors persist, however. For example, “Some people argue about primary schools excessively focusing” has an awkward clause structure, and “which produce a similar mindset” does not agree with the singular subject “which.” In “during six hours of consecutive teaching,” the phrasing also shows difficulty controlling the structure of the sentence. Review clause construction, subject–verb agreement, and punctuation around introductory clauses. More consistently accurate complex sentences would strengthen control.

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