Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal education, leaving insufficient time for children to play. I largely agree with this view, as play is equally important for young children's development and should be an essential part of classroom learning.

Nowadays, schools are just focusing on children learning only the formal education, rather then focusing on some other activities as well. The foremost argument to justify my stand is that schools educational system is old fashioned and they are not following the current trend among the growing individuals, as every student now wants to be an athlete rather than just learning social sciences. For example, students become so tired beacuse of the formal and strict learning system of their schools, and as a result they become very bored of the same daily routine.

It is very necessary for young primary students to take part in sports as they provide them recreation and they gain physical strength and endurance by playing or taking part in extra curricular activities. Both the education and sports are equally important for children.

Schools should arrange classes and lectures in a way that not only provide education but also exposure to play and outdoor activities.

As many students don't want to go to school beacuse of the same routine followed. Schools should arrange some activities to bring children interest back in education. Playing for sometime bring mental peace to a child's mind and overall improve their wellbeing and as a result they become more fresh and active in daily life.

In conclusion, although formal education is essential for building children's academic knowledge, I believe that primary schools should give greater importance to play-based activities. A balance between learning and playing can help children develop both academically and socially.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you largely agree that play deserves more space, and the conclusion reinforces the value of balancing academic learning with play. You address both the emphasis on formal education and the importance of classroom activities, giving relevant reasons such as physical strength, recreation, and children becoming bored with a repetitive routine. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that every student wants to be an athlete is too broad and does not clearly support your argument about learning through play. Develop a specific example of how play supports social, emotional, or academic development, and explain how schools can balance it with formal lessons. This would make the response more fully developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs, and a conclusion that returns to your main position. Ideas generally progress from the drawbacks of a formal routine to the benefits of sports and activities. However, connections between some points are not always clear. The paragraph beginning “As many students don't want to go to school” repeats the concern about routine without clearly linking it to the previous paragraph, and “Both the education and sports are equally important” feels abrupt. Use topic sentences to show each paragraph’s distinct purpose, and connect claims to explanations with clearer referencing. Avoid repeating the same point about boredom and routine; instead, build the argument step by step toward your conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “formal education,” “physical strength and endurance,” “extra curricular activities,” and “play-based activities.” These expressions help communicate the topic and your position. However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, such as “schools educational system,” “current trend among the growing individuals,” and “bring children interest back in education.” Spelling errors such as “beacuse” and “rather then” also reduce accuracy. Aim for more natural academic phrasing and check spelling carefully. For example, you could describe a “repetitive school routine,” say that activities “re-engage children in learning,” and refer to “children’s development” rather than “growing individuals.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “as” and “although,” and your meaning is generally understandable. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with sentence structure, agreement, and verb forms. For example, “schools are just focusing on children learning only” is awkwardly constructed, while “activities to bring children interest back” lacks a possessive form. The sentence beginning “As many students don't want to go to school” is a dependent clause presented as a complete sentence. There are also errors in “Playing for sometime bring mental peace,” where the subject and verb do not agree. Practise forming complete sentences and checking subject–verb agreement, possessives, and clause boundaries while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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