Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, primary schools focus very much on formal education. While, it is known fact that sports and education hold the same value in life of students. I agree with this opinion that primary schools should focus on sports and education at the same time because sports can provide benefits to children in their studies by boosting their mental abilities.

Firstly, If primary schools only focus on formal learning, then children can lose thier chance to increase their mental power. Playing is natural activity for children. If children spend so much time in their class while studying academic subjects, then they get bored in the classroom. Eventually, they lose focus on the theoretical subjects, which leads them to score poor grades. For instance, due to lack of sports period, students find their way to do mischief in ongoing lecture. Thus, they lose an interest to do study.

Secondly, due to lack of sports activities in schools, children do not get a chance to showcase their ability in sports. If students have potential to achieve great success in sports. Due to excessive theoretical curriculam, faculties cannot identify their talent. For example, If students play well in multiple sports such as football, cricket and volleyball. Then instead of playing in the field with a respective coach, they have to sit all day in class. This causes students to lose their potential to grow in sports.

However, formal learning holds same spot as playing. Formal learning helps to make a stable career and generate a handsome income. Moreover, formal learning is important to build the foundation and teach the basic human virtues.

To sum up, It can be said that providing enough time to play can help children the most. Due to playing children can improve their physical strength and playing ability. At the same time, schools should design their coursework in a way, which gives equal priorities to academics as well as sports.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools should balance formal learning with play, and you address both the value of play and the continuing importance of academic study. The points about children becoming bored, losing focus, and having sporting ability overlooked are relevant, with examples such as football, cricket and volleyball helping to illustrate them. The conclusion also restates your balanced view. However, the discussion of play’s benefits is more developed than the explanation of how play supports learning, and the paragraph on formal education mainly mentions career prospects and basic virtues without explaining these points. To strengthen the response, develop each reason with a clearer explanation and connect classroom play directly to children’s learning and development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop reasons for play, a contrasting paragraph recognises the value of formal learning, and a conclusion summarises your position. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” “However,” and “To sum up” make the progression easy to follow. Some connections are less smooth or precise, though. For example, “If students have potential to achieve great success in sports” is left as a sentence fragment, and the following “Due to excessive theoretical curriculum” does not clearly link the idea to the previous sentence. The repeated conditional pattern also makes parts of the argument feel mechanical. Use a wider range of linking methods and make the relationship between each example and its main point explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “academic subjects,” “mental abilities,” “potential,” and “foundation.” These choices allow you to communicate the main ideas, and examples of sports make the discussion concrete. However, the range and control are uneven, with several awkward or inaccurate expressions: “lose an interest to do study,” “same spot,” and “handsome income” do not sound natural in this context. There are also spelling errors such as “thier” and “curriculam,” which reduce accuracy. Aim to learn common word partnerships and use them precisely; for instance, describe students as losing interest in studying, and refer to the equal importance of play and formal education rather than their having the same “spot.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “If primary schools only focus on formal learning, then children can lose…” and a relative clause in “subjects, which leads them to score poor grades.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main message is generally understandable. However, sentence boundaries and clause construction are not consistently controlled. “If students have potential to achieve great success in sports” is an incomplete sentence, while “If students play well… Then instead of playing…” incorrectly separates a dependent clause from its main clause. There are also errors with articles and sentence-initial capitalisation, as in “it is known fact” and “Firstly, If.” Practise complete conditional sentences and check articles, punctuation, and capital letters during revision.

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