Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many believe that primary school do more focus on formal learning. While i agree that in this technology era academic pressure a rise more concern on focus on formal learning rather then playing during class, I believed balance with both learning is essential for a child growth.

On the one hand, formal learning is important for a child academic development.Through out formal study in the primary school their knowledge has increased, they learnet how to write , how to talk and how to solve calculations.Many countries like Japan mainely focused providing major fields of study during the primary level. They teach their children's from primary level vast range of subjects so the child know information like space study or information technology.through these studies the child knowns about their furure goals and interest.

On the other hand, focusing entirely on formal academic may harm or effect child's growth making play during class are important. During the study many schools in a world provide playing activities for their schools kids, through this child learn quickly, while leraning playing activities like giving blocks to count or minus, plus or organizing class activities to different daily life topis that childrens talks or give presentation. These types of activities provide confidence in the child's growth. In majority european countries they did not provide home works to their school childrens, child do entrie study at school along with different activities that link to their studies like task completion, sports activities.

In conclusion, I believed that study through playing in class or school along with formal learning has equal importance for a child development and their growth. Every primary school must include activities with their formal lerning to boostup children's mental and physical well-being.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both parts of the question and maintain a clear position: formal learning matters, but classroom play should be included alongside it. The two body paragraphs give relevant support, including examples of using blocks for arithmetic and activities that build confidence. This meets the task well, though some points are more fully explained than others. For instance, the discussion of Japan lists subjects and possible interests but does not clearly show why this demonstrates excessive emphasis on formal learning. The claim about European homework practices is also broad and its relevance to classroom play could be made clearer. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how play supports learning and development, and connect each example to your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs contrast formal study with play, and the conclusion restates the importance of combining them. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow this progression. However, some connections between ideas are abrupt or unclear. The move from Japan’s curriculum to children’s future interests, for example, needs a clearer explanation, while the European homework point shifts away from the classroom focus. Some sentences also contain several ideas without clear links. Use more precise referencing and add short explanations showing how each example supports the paragraph’s main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use vocabulary relevant to education and child development, including “academic development,” “formal learning,” “activities,” and “confidence.” These choices make your main ideas understandable, and you attempt some topic-specific expressions such as “physical well-being.” However, the range and control are limited, with noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors that sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “a rise more concern,” “learnet,” “furure goals,” and “boostup.” Phrases such as “their schools kids” and “study through playing” are also unnatural. Build a bank of accurate education-related collocations and check spelling and word forms carefully; this will make your ideas clearer and more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a contrastive opening with “While” and explanations using “through this.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors occur across much of the response. Examples include subject–verb agreement in “primary school do,” missing or incorrect articles in “for a child academic development,” and tense or verb-form problems in “their knowledge has increased” and “the child knowns.” Several sentences also run together or lack clear punctuation, as in the sentence beginning “Many countries like Japan.” Practise accurate sentence boundaries, agreement, articles, and consistent tense before adding further complexity.

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