Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this contemporary era, primary schools has become a widely discussed issue in society.This matter is partially significant due to its impact on formal learning influencing both individuals and communities. Some people argue that it is not important and primary schools do not focus too much on formal learning. I firmly believe that these are important and primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

The primary reason for my opinion is that most of the students are younger in age and do not focus personaly in our studies, so the school system is play a crucial role in this studies. Furthermore, students dont have how know about study and teachers help out in his studies. For instance, a student that take admission in first class and dont know what they want to do then the teacher teach them with different things like sound system play some informative video that help out to focus on their studies.

The other reason for my opinion is the primary school teachers has too much ideas that how to treat them and develop the interest in study. This can help to build confidence in student because students participate in different activities that perform only through the primary school system which means that they know about the habbits and interest if the younger students. For example, they taught through the games that is so informative for the students they take interest in this and want to do study, so it means that it is important.

In conclusive, I believe that primary schools clearly support to the studies, primarily due to the focus and activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

Your position is stated: you agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and you also mention the value of activities and games. However, the response only partially answers the two questions. Most of the discussion explains why teachers and school systems help children study; it does not clearly examine whether formal learning receives too much emphasis or explain in a developed way how play should balance classroom learning. The examples about videos and games are relevant, but their connection to your central argument is not always clear, and the conclusion simply repeats that schools support studies. To strengthen the response, state your view precisely and develop reasons showing how play benefits children alongside formal lessons. The response meets the required length; eight words copied from the prompt were excluded from the count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs introduced by “The primary reason” and “The other reason,” and a conclusion. These paragraph divisions help the reader identify the main sections. However, progression within the paragraphs is often difficult to follow because ideas are repeated or linked unclearly. For example, the first body paragraph moves from children’s age to teachers’ role and then to a video example without clearly explaining how this supports your view about excessive formal learning. Connectors such as “Furthermore” and “For instance” are used, but they do not always make the relationship between ideas clear. Use a more consistent sequence—claim, explanation, example—and make references such as “this” and “they” explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “primary school system,” “confidence,” “activities,” and “interest,” so the reader can identify the general subject. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the intended meaning hard to understand. For example, “students dont have how know about study” and “sound system play some informative video” are unclear, while “study” and “students” recur frequently. Spelling and word-form problems such as “personaly” and “habbits” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, natural phrases that express the relationship between play and learning, and check spelling and collocations. For instance, describe how games can “reinforce learning” rather than simply saying they are informative.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to connect ideas in longer sentences using words such as “because,” “so,” and “which means,” and the overall message can usually be followed. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors occur frequently, including in attempted complex sentences. Examples include “primary schools has become,” “the school system is play,” and “the primary school teachers has,” where subject–verb agreement or verb forms are incorrect. Other sentences, such as “a student that take admission in first class,” contain several grammatical problems that make the meaning difficult to process. Work on building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause. Check agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries during revision.

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