Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, education plays a vital role in our lives. Few individuals believe that primary schools more focus on formal learning. In my opinion, I partly agree with these statements formal learning essential for health but playing also crucial for health and healthy life.

On the one hand, formal learning is essential for children to improve and get advance knowledge. Firstly, formal learning provide students future success and obtain good skills as well as grades to get admission in top ranking universities. Furthermore, higher education gives opportunities to younger to get a good job and secure career. For instance, children trained themselves in early age for future career when they get required band, they easily get a job in any sector of employment. After that, they would provide financial support to their families which helps to improve their living. Secondly, playing games not provide better facilities because sports are challenging and most student do not get a chance to be a part of it.

On the other hand, playing games are crucial it helps to improve physical health and refreshment to children's. Initially, games can reduce the obesity and maintain physical heath attractive without any diseases. children who studies whole day they can improve their abelites, how to success and communicate with each other but playing games such as sports can teach you about team work, cooperation and humbleness. For example, if children would be the part cricket it has 12 players in each time one player is extra sometimes if one of them faced issue or any physical disability they can replace them with extra player, it shows how they help each other and represent their loyalty with them. Therefore, education is essential but physical games also plays important role in our society.

In conclusion, few individuals argue that formal learning is essential for children to help them choosing better future career and long term benefits. Although, playing games beneficial for our health and refreshment. I partly agree with statement because education and games have important role in society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions and state a partly agreeing position, with relevant points about academic preparation, physical health, and the social benefits of games. The cricket example also attempts to illustrate cooperation. However, the position is not consistently explained: the claim that formal learning is “essential for health” is unclear, and the point that sports do not provide “better facilities” does not directly establish why formal learning should take priority. Several ideas remain under-developed, particularly how classroom play should be balanced with lessons. To strengthen the response, explain what “too much” formal learning means, clarify your reasons for partly agreeing, and develop a specific example showing how play and learning can complement each other.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the shift between formal learning and play. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow. In the first body paragraph, the discussion moves from university admission to employment and family finances, then to a claim about sports, without clearly connecting these points to the question of classroom balance. The cricket example is also hard to track because its details are crowded into one sentence. Some linking expressions, such as “After that” and “Initially,” feel mechanical or do not show the intended relationship. Group related ideas more clearly and use shorter sentences to guide the reader through examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “physical health,” “team work,” “cooperation,” and “career.” This gives the response a basic range for discussing education and play. However, vocabulary is often repetitive or imprecise, and several collocations make the meaning less clear. For example, “get advance knowledge,” “required band,” “physical heath attractive,” and “represent their loyalty” do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also spelling and word-form errors, such as “abelites” and “children's” where a plural is needed. Build a more accurate set of phrases for describing learning outcomes and classroom activities, and check that each word fits its context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “because,” “when,” and “if.” This shows an effort to vary sentence structure, but complex attempts are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to interpret. Examples include “formal learning provide students,” “playing games are crucial,” and “children who studies whole day.” The long cricket sentence beginning “For example, if children would be the part cricket” has problems with clause structure and verb forms that obscure the point. Articles, plurals, and punctuation also need attention. Practise forming clear subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses carefully; rereading for agreement and sentence boundaries would improve accuracy.

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