Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this modern world, education systems are changing and developing over the time. Many schools are changing for focous on formal leanrning style or combin with other activites. Therefore, some people argue that primary schools mainly focus on formal learning methods and, I am agree with this approach. And then, I also believe that playing in the classroom is important for children.

On the one hand, I notice that the primary schools are commonly focus on formal learning such as subjects related topics. Because of their marking systems and exam formats are only focous on learning subjects. For example, many Asian primary school give marks to Grade 1 - 2 students with tests and homework. It may be strugle for young students who don't have supportive parents or guradien.

On the other hand, I believe that children should play in the classroom as a school period because it can lead to improve them about teamwork and physcial health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both questions: you state that you agree with the view about formal learning and say that classroom play is important. The examples about tests and homework for young pupils and the possible benefits of play are relevant. However, the response only partially develops the task: your position is not fully explained, and the point about children without supportive parents is left unclear. The benefits of play are named as teamwork and physical health but are not illustrated or explained. The response is also 92 words below the required minimum, which limits the opportunity to develop reasons and examples. To strengthen your answer, explain how formal learning may be excessive and give a specific example of how play supports learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, a paragraph about formal learning, and one about play. Phrases such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the two sides of your discussion. However, the overall progression is limited, and the final paragraph ends without a conclusion that brings your position together. Some connections are unclear: “Therefore” does not clearly follow from the preceding sentence, while “And then” is not an effective link to the second question. The sentence beginning “Because of” is also left as a fragment, interrupting the flow. Use clear topic sentences, connect each reason to its explanation or example, and add a brief concluding paragraph.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “marking systems,” “exam formats,” “teamwork,” and “physical health.” These choices make your main subject understandable. However, the range is limited, and several spelling errors or inaccurate word forms make the writing less clear, such as “focous,” “leanrning,” “strugle,” and “guradien.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “changing for focus on” and “subjects related topics.” Aim to learn accurate topic-specific expressions and check spelling carefully. For example, you could describe “a curriculum dominated by tests” or explain that play “develops cooperation and social skills,” rather than relying on broad or awkward wording.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a sentence with “because” and one beginning “For example.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For instance, “I am agree with this approach” has an incorrect verb form, and “the primary schools are commonly focus” has an incorrect verb construction. “Because of their marking systems…” is not a complete sentence, while “it can lead to improve them” has an incorrect pattern after “lead to.” There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries. Practise complete clauses and common patterns such as “lead to + noun/gerund,” then proofread each sentence for subject–verb agreement and verb form.

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