Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some residents believe that formal education is more focused by elementary schools. This essay will examine the various aspects of its beneficial and detrimental effects on the undergraduates. Formal learning plays a vital role in the development of a students long-lasting memory skills and foundation.

On the one hand, i agree that formal education improves the pupils grades, reading skills and concentration. Primary schools prefer to focus the students on formal learning as it helps them to co-relate with only studies without any distractions. Focusing too much on studies lead to increase a student overall marks and also it leads to a huge development in the concentration of a pupil. Moreover, studying and pay attention only on books also develop undergraduates reading. These are the several benefits of it. For instance, if the pupils focus only on studies without any other distractions it will also payoff the efforts of their teachers and parents; it also promotes their abilities to become a great person in the society.

On the other hand, the curriculum activities also play a vital role in growth of the students as they learn more on playgrounds instead of classrooms. The primary schools require it to promote such exercises due to it a student achieves characteristics such as relationships, confidence and loyalty. In the play, students meet with different personality pupils and built a relation of team then this teamwork make them able to understand about the importance of relationships. Moreover, while playing the students often talk with other players this promotes their ability of confidence. In addition, it also build loyalty skill as they have to play for a team which leads them to work as a family. For example, the city in which playgrounds are full then you will find that city hospitals empty and if that city playgrounds are empty then the hospitals will be full.

To conclude, schools should have not to ignore the significance of playgrounds as it develops a child with many social skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both parts of the question by discussing formal study and the value of play, and your conclusion supports including playground activities. However, your position on whether schools focus too much on formal learning is not consistently clear: the opening says formal education is more focused, while the first body paragraph mainly lists its benefits. The response would be stronger if you directly stated how far you agree and evaluated whether the emphasis is excessive. Your points about play developing relationships, confidence and teamwork are relevant, but some claims need clearer explanation. For example, the hospitals-and-playgrounds saying is not sufficiently connected to classroom learning. Develop fewer points with specific, realistic examples and explain how they answer the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand” and “To conclude” help readers follow the broad organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, with repeated “Moreover” and “also,” and several ideas are listed rather than linked through explanation. In the first body paragraph, the claims about grades, concentration and reading skills overlap, while the example about teachers and parents does not clearly extend them. Some references are also unclear, such as “it” in “due to it a student achieves characteristics.” Use more precise links between claims and examples, and make each paragraph develop one central point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “concentration,” “teamwork” and “relationships,” so the main ideas are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations sound unnatural or obscure meaning. For example, “undergraduates” is unsuitable for primary-school pupils, “co-relate with only studies” does not express the intended idea clearly, and “built a relation of team” is not idiomatic. Repetition of “students,” “play” and “promotes” also limits flexibility. Aim for precise, natural phrases connected to primary education, and check whether each word fits its context. More accurate collocations would make your arguments clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “as,” “while” and “if.” This gives the response some structural variety, but complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts difficult to read. Examples include “Focusing too much on studies lead,” where the subject and verb do not agree, and “it also build loyalty skill,” which has agreement and article/plural problems. The opening phrase “a students long-lasting memory skills” also has an incorrect possessive form. Sentence boundaries and punctuation need attention, particularly in the long playgrounds-and-hospitals example. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals and sentence construction before adding more complexity.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.