Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some individuals believe that primary academies focus excessive on formal learning. I completely agree with this statement because strucutured education helps the students to give their time to learnings as well as play, and this will leads to develop the students keen interest in studying.

It is widely accepted that playing games and doing activity is important in schools because it support student to manage their time in both studying and playing. However, focusing on only learnings and studying student could be exhausted, and their minds is not good in such activities or games. Recently, a survey found that many student are depressed because of their education and i think that's the reason of schools that are just fully concentrating on subjects.

Furthermore, I believe that school that are focused on formal learning are better for students who are not interested in the education, and not coming regularly so teaching or have work on activities along with studies this will keen intrest of student in education. Many candidates get bored from studying so it important to also work on activities such as badminton competation, chess, and cirecket. These games helps students to be activite in studying and feel relax.

In conclusion, i believe that focusing on formal learning relieve the students pressure and improve the analytical ability, and it will develop the interest in education who are not reluctant to do studies. Moreover, teaching acivity develops many students skill in particular such as circket and in future the take it as career.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear general view that children should have opportunities to play as well as study, and you mention relevant examples such as badminton and chess. However, the response only partially answers the two questions. The opening says you agree that schools focus too much on formal learning, but later you claim that focusing on formal learning relieves pressure, which makes your position difficult to follow. The importance of play is suggested through claims about boredom, relaxation and interest, but these points are not explained with specific reasoning or a developed example. Clarify your extent of agreement and explain how classroom play supports children’s learning or wellbeing, rather than relying on broad claims about students becoming depressed or bored.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and the paragraphs broadly group related points: the first discusses pressure and the second gives examples of activities. Basic linking expressions such as “However,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help signal movement between sections. Nevertheless, the overall progression is unclear because the conclusion reverses the opening position by praising a focus on formal learning, while the body argues for activities alongside study. Some sentences also combine several ideas without showing how they connect, particularly the sentence beginning “Furthermore, I believe that school…” Repeated references to studying and activities make the development feel circular. Establish one consistent argument, give each paragraph a distinct purpose, and use clearer links between claims and explanations.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a small range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “analytical ability,” “activities” and examples of games. This is enough to communicate the general subject, but the range is limited and several word choices or forms make the meaning less clear. Phrases such as “keen interest,” “work on activities,” and “teaching activity develops many students skill” are awkward or imprecise in context. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “strucutured,” “intrest,” “competation,” “cirecket” and “activite.” These errors sometimes slow the reader’s understanding. Build a more accurate set of expressions for discussing play and learning, and check spelling and collocations carefully; for example, describe activities as helping children “stay engaged” or “develop skills.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use clauses with “because,” “however” and “who,” but control is inconsistent, and many sentences contain errors that make the relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Examples include “this will leads to develop,” “it support student,” and “their minds is not good,” where verb forms or subject–verb agreement are faulty. Articles, plurals and sentence construction also need attention, as in “many student are depressed” and “school that are focused.” The sentence beginning “so teaching or have work on activities” is especially difficult to parse. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with one clear subordinate clause. Check agreement, verb forms and punctuation when editing.

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