Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people think that too much focus is given on formal learning by primary schools. I partly agree with this opinion. Also I think it is very important for the well being of a student to play alongside learning in the primary school.

Formal learning is undoubtedly an integral part of any primary school. It shapes a student from the very beginning of their learning phase and gives them direction towards their desirable goals. Without formal learning, a student will not be able to learn what is needed for their careers and so they will not be able to gain success in life. But it is not true that all the primary schools only focuses on formal learning ignoring the recreation period of the students. Schools also provide a fixed time for playing because consistent lecture hours will make every learning monotonous.

It is very essential for every schools to have a fixed period only for the playing and recreation of the students. To remove the persistent monotony and dispel the fear of continuous learning hours, playing periods are must. It will refresh a students’ mind and help them to concentrate on their study more. Moreover, a student can also maintain a good physique by playing everyday. If a student sits for long hours in the class for their learning periods, it will have negative effects on their health. For example they will have back and shoulder pain. So a limited time for playing breaks are needed for every student.

In conclusion, a proper balance should be maintained between formal learning and playing hours in every school. We can not ignore the fact that alongside formal learning, playing hours are also important for every students. Formal learning will teach them the information they will need for their careers and goals and also teach them discipline. On the other hand, playing hours will remove the monotony of formal learning and help a student to have a balance between study and recreation. So both are complementary factors rather than competing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you partly agree that formal learning can receive too much emphasis, and you argue that play should accompany classroom learning. You address both questions and give relevant reasons, including concentration, physical health and the risk of monotonous lessons. However, the discussion of whether schools actually focus too much on formal learning is less fully developed than your explanation of why play matters. For instance, you state that schools provide fixed play periods, but do not explain whether these are sufficient or how formal learning may still dominate. The examples of back and shoulder pain are relevant but would be more convincing with a little explanation or a specific illustration. Develop this comparison more evenly and support key claims to make your response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs develop formal learning and play, and the conclusion restates the need for balance. Ideas generally progress logically, and linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “For example” and “On the other hand” help guide the reader. This clear organisation is a strength. At times, however, connections feel mechanical or repetitive: “playing” and “formal learning” recur frequently, and the conclusion repeats several points already made rather than drawing them together more concisely. Some references are also not fully clear, as in “It will refresh a students’ mind,” where the pronoun and possessive form make the reference awkward. Use more varied transitions and clearer referencing to make cohesion smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss schooling and its effects, including “integral,” “monotony,” “recreation” and “concentrate.” These choices show an attempt to use topic-related and less common language, and your meaning remains clear. Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, however. “Focus is given on” would be more naturally expressed as “emphasis is placed on,” while “playing periods are must” and “playing breaks” do not fit the intended meaning well. There is also repetition of “formal learning,” “playing” and “student,” which limits flexibility. Aim for more precise phrases such as “playtime,” “physical activity” and “classroom instruction,” and check collocations when using less familiar vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “If a student sits for long hours… it will have negative effects” and a contrastive conclusion beginning “On the other hand.” Most sentences communicate your ideas successfully. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals and possessives. For example, “all the primary schools only focuses” should use a plural verb, and “every schools” should be singular after “every.” In “a students’ mind,” the article and possessive form do not agree. There are also punctuation and sentence-boundary issues, such as “For example they will have back and shoulder pain.” Review agreement and noun forms, and punctuate introductory phrases consistently while retaining your varied sentence structures.

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