Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, It is argued by some people that the main focus of elementary schools is formal learning. I firmly agree with the context because most of the teachers in different schools find it easier way to teach children and teachers have limited ideas about the benefits of alternative learning methods. I believe there are a lot of advantages of playing besides learning in primary school classrooms.

There are compelling reasons, why most of the elementary schools teach too much formal education. First and foremost, in different primary schools it can be observed that teachers tend to teach children from traditional books or pre made paper sheet. Most of the time teachers main intention. In most cases, the primary tendency among teachers is to teach students quickly to teach all the topics of the syllebus in a shorter period of time. Threrefore, they just follow easy and conventional methods to teach so that children can get a good score in their exams and teacher can teach all the topics easily. Furthermore, teachers don't have enough knowledges about the advantages of teaching different study method. Besides, in different schools teachers think folmal education is the best and standerd way to teach students. Therefore, they only focus on formal learning for childrem.

Nevertheless, children should play besides study because it is as important as study for them in classroom. For instance, if children don't get enough time to play and teachers only focus on formal learning, students may become bored. Additionally, without playing with children in classroom they may get interest on their studies. As a result, they may not become a sincere students later. For example, in Bangladesh in a report showed that most of the elementary schools had 95% students who emphasis on play besides studies. It implies that if students are taught with playing, they are attracted to study more attentively.

In conclusion, although in different elementary schools, teachers focus on conventional teaching method and focus less on play, it can be solved if they are trained alternative way to teach children. Furthermore, teachers should know the advantages of play in classroom besides study for students of schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that schools overemphasise formal learning, and you also state that play is important. You give relevant reasons, including teachers’ reliance on conventional methods and the risk that children become bored without play. However, the response addresses the two questions only partially because these points are not developed with enough explanation. For example, the claim that teachers have limited knowledge of alternative methods is asserted rather than supported, and the Bangladesh statistic is unclear and not explained as evidence. The sentence about children becoming interested in their studies without playing also appears to contradict your argument. Explain more precisely how play supports learning and give a clear, credible example to develop your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph about formal teaching, a paragraph supporting play, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “First and foremost,” “Furthermore,” and “Nevertheless” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, with repeated references to “teachers,” “formal learning,” and “play,” and some connections between ideas are unclear. For instance, “without playing with children in classroom they may get interest on their studies” does not clearly express the intended relationship, while the following example does not connect smoothly to the claim. The sentence fragment “Most of the time teachers main intention” also interrupts progression. Make each paragraph’s main point explicit and use clearer references and transitions between explanation and example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the general argument, including “formal learning,” “alternative learning methods,” “conventional methods,” and “advantages.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow. Examples include “pre made paper sheet,” “different study method,” and “a sincere students”; these do not express the ideas naturally. Spelling errors such as “syllebus,” “Threrefore,” “folmal,” and “standerd” are also noticeable. Aim to use precise education-related phrases and check spelling and word forms carefully. More accurate vocabulary would help you explain the benefits of play and the limitations of formal instruction with greater clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and longer sentences, using clauses with “because,” “if,” and “although.” This gives you a basis for expressing reasons and contrasts. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation occur frequently enough to affect clarity. For example, “Most of the time teachers main intention” is an incomplete sentence, and “they may not become a sincere students” has an agreement error. In “in a report showed,” the sentence structure is also incomplete. Review how to form complete clauses, use articles and plural nouns consistently, and punctuate introductory phrases. Building accurate shorter sentences before combining them will make your reasoning easier to understand.

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