Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A group of individual believe that primary schools concentrate more on formal learning rather than provide them any currricular activity, which can also improve their learning abilities, I agree with the statement that childrens should lear in classroom but playing in the ground is also equally important to build their interest in school.

Playing in the ground is the natural instint of every children in this world. It also improve their cognitive behaviour, primary schools these days focus more on academic records than what children is larning, this can put pressure on children,and they focus more on scoring high marks than actual learning, high marks can not garantee intelligence, as a result most of students do not wants to go to school.

On the other hand, if schools equally on curricular activities in schools with formal learning this will develope students more intrest in school, it is also important for children physical health in this didgital era children physical activities already reduced so school should pay attention to introduce more physical games in school.

In my perspective, physical activities is equally important for the upbringing of a child,and it also build children interest in school and helps them making friends and it teaches them to more social and confident when they grow up,it also help them to increase their mind development which can eventually helps them in learning. for example, a student who play football can focus more on small details because his mind is train to react more quickly and take action.

In conclusion, it is evident that alongside with formal learning cirrcular activities are equally important for children upbringing and it helps them engaging more to the studies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you agree that formal learning matters but argue that play and physical activity are equally important. You address both parts of the prompt, explaining that play can support cognitive development, health, social confidence and interest in school. The football example also gives your argument some specific support. This meets the task well, and the response shows some of the fuller development expected at the next level. However, several claims remain broad—for example, that academic pressure means students do not want to attend school—and the benefits of play are listed more than explained. Develop one or two points with clearer cause-and-effect reasoning or a more concrete example to make the argument more convincing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph about academic pressure, a contrasting paragraph on activities, a personal view with an example, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several ideas are joined in long sentences, particularly in the second and fourth paragraphs. Some connections are also unclear, as in “if schools equally on curricular activities,” where the relationship between play and formal learning is not expressed precisely. Use clearer topic sentences, separate distinct points, and make references explicit so that each paragraph develops one main idea smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “cognitive behaviour,” “physical health,” “upbringing,” and “confident.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, inaccurate word choice, collocation and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “curricular activity” where you mean play or extracurricular activities, “physical activities already reduced,” and “increase their mind development.” There are also repeated references to “important” and “children,” which limit flexibility. Build accuracy by learning common word partnerships and checking spelling and word forms; this will make your ideas clearer without requiring more complicated vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional and relative structures, as in “if schools equally on curricular activities…” and “a student who play football…”. This shows an effort to express relationships between ideas, but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms occur in examples such as “It also improve,” “children physical activities already reduced,” and “a student who play.” Several sentences run together, with comma splices and missing punctuation, especially in the paragraph beginning “In my perspective.” These issues sometimes make relationships between clauses unclear. Practise building accurate complex sentences, checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, and using full stops to separate complete ideas.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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