Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is a debate that students should also focus on the playing along with the learning in the primary school classroom.

in my view children should enjoy playing in school while learning in classroom because physical health is also importent. Because playing along with there friends kids will be able to develope friendship and they learn about team spirit. While classes only teaches theory play ground will teach many things that classrooms can not teach. For example studies shows kids who plays often shows a significant development in there brains than the kids who don't play.

Ther are also arguements that kids should only focus too much on formal learning because when kids get into higher school the intensity of sunjects will increase. For instance kids who have dreams about being a lawyer or a doctor needs to focus on studying regularly than playing outside which will be benifical for thier career growth and scools also encourage this kind of attitude from the children. But a kid who wants to be atheltic he should be on ground and for that kids the formal classes may look like a waste of time time and many parents do not agree with this they want their kids to become a engineer or a doctor.

in my opinion schools should not only focus on the studies and they also have children to play as well as learning in the primary school classroom because it is very important to enhance ther mental growth sticking only in class room doesnot improve thier thinking.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you support combining play with learning, and you address both the value of play and the argument for formal study. Relevant points include friendship, teamwork, physical health, and preparation for demanding later studies. However, these ideas are not developed evenly. The point about future doctors and lawyers is introduced but not fully weighed against the benefits of play, and the example about brain development is asserted rather than explained or supported. The second question—how important play is within the primary classroom—receives a direct answer, but the response could explain more specifically how classroom activities can combine play and learning. Develop each main reason with a clearer explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has an overall structure: it presents your view, considers an opposing argument, and returns to your conclusion. This gives the reader a basic sense of progression. However, the organisation within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly where the discussion shifts from career ambitions to parents’ expectations and then to children who want to be athletes. Linking words such as “Because,” “While,” and “But” are used, but some connections feel abrupt or do not clearly show how one idea relates to the next. The final paragraph also repeats the main position rather than drawing the reasons together. Use clearer topic sentences and separate contrasting points so each paragraph develops one main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “team spirit,” “formal learning,” “physical health,” and “career growth.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which makes parts of the response less natural. For example, “playing along with the learning” and “the intensity of subjects will increase” do not express the ideas idiomatically, while “a waste of time time” contains an unnecessary repetition. Spelling errors such as “importent,” “develope,” and “benifical” are also noticeable. Build a more precise vocabulary for education and child development, and check spelling and collocations carefully during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “because,” “while,” and “who,” so there is some variety. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “classes only teaches,” “kids who plays,” and “a engineer”; these should be “classes only teach,” “kids who play,” and “an engineer.” The opening “Because playing along with there friends…” is a fragment, and several sentences run together without clear punctuation. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and article use, and divide long sentences into complete, clearly punctuated units.

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