Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is undeniable that primary schools give more importance to formal study in the classrom. But in my opinion, besides study it is also crucial to take part in playing in the elementary schools.

It is observed that primary teaching is mostly based on classroom activities, such as reading books, memorizing texts, homeworks, and exams. There are are several reasons for these practices. Initially, school authorities think children will be shaped in the way which is learnt from their childhood. It is a popular belief that strict study plans will help them to grow with a positive mindset. But sometimes, students get bored with these tight schedules and slowly it becomes a burden for them rather than enjoyment. What is more, it has also competition among several schools and parents regarding the percentage of students in board exams. For keeping their reputation, the authorities put academic pressure on students. As a result, study become a routine than excitement.

On the other hand, education has to be learnt with fun and enthusiasm. To make teaching more lively and pragmatic, schools have to redesign their classroom patterns and include sports in their curriculum. It would be beneficial for several reasons. First of all, at early age, childern will feel the eagerness to attend school daily. They will find refreshment along with their academic learning. Secondly, if play is included in school curriculum, it will help them to understand friendship, relationship, and socialization. It will help them to be more confident. Thirdly, obesity is one of the major challenges among children nowadays. These physical activities will improve their physical health conditions.

In conclusion, as far as I am concerned, primary schools broadly focus on formal education. But to build a healthier and creative generation, the significance of sports is also undeniable.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your position is clear: you agree that formal study receives too much emphasis and argue that play should also be part of primary education. You address both questions, explaining why schools prioritise academic results and giving several benefits of play, including enjoyment, social development, confidence, and physical health. These relevant points are extended with explanations, such as the pressure schools face over exam performance. Some claims, however, remain broad: the discussion of strict study plans and the benefits of play would be more convincing with a specific example or clearer explanation of how classroom play supports learning. Overall, the response covers the task and supports its main ideas, though some development is generalised.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present the emphasis on formal study and the value of play, and a conclusion restates your position. Ideas progress logically, and signposting such as “On the other hand,” “First of all,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the argument. The sequence of benefits in the second body paragraph is especially easy to track. At times, however, the linking feels formulaic because several points are introduced through a list of ordinal markers. Some connections between sentences could also be made more explicit—for example, the shift from school competition to academic pressure could be explained more smoothly. Varying transitions and using clearer references would make the progression more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary to discuss schooling and child development, including “academic pressure,” “positive mindset,” “socialization,” and “physical health conditions.” These choices communicate the main ideas, and some topic-specific language helps the response feel relevant. However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “playing in the elementary schools,” “it has also competition,” and “study become a routine than excitement.” There are also spelling errors, including “classrom” and “childern.” These do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and control. Aim to learn common collocations as complete phrases and check spelling carefully; this would make your vocabulary more natural and flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “that,” “which,” and “if.” Most of the argument remains understandable, and the paragraph structure gives you opportunities to express cause and effect. Some grammatical errors persist, however. For example, “There are are several reasons” repeats the verb, “study become” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, and “it has also competition” uses an unsuitable construction. In “the way which is learnt from their childhood,” the relative clause and preposition pattern are not well controlled. Review agreement, articles, and clause construction, then proofread each sentence for a complete and grammatically consistent structure. Greater accuracy across these forms would strengthen the response.

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