Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some argue that formal learning was little too much for a primary student. I completely agree with this opinion and believe that it is very important for primary students to play as well as learning because, playing develop their brain to not to be socially awkward and to accept wins and losses.

A student in primary school have nearly 5 subjects, along with exams at the end of every year. For such young mind, that is a burden and a stressful life. Therefore, reducing formal education and initiating informal education through games and activities could develop their understanding significantly. For example, in Sri Lanka, primary teachers have adapted their teaching methods with games, songs and activities. Because of this adaptation, a large number of students go into the secondary school with confidence and with an open mind. The foundation primary student having is the key turning point of their education. If they had an unpleasant experience about learning in primary school, that will definitely affect their further studies.

Playing with others in such young age benefit them when they build their personality. Games and activities teach the youngsters how to accept winning and losing in life. Therefore, playing is important same as learning when a student in primary school. Games develop human brain not to be socially uncomfortable and it is a not only beneficial to their brain, to their body as well. Exercise is one of the key attributes to a healthy life.

In conclusion, I firmly agree with the view of formal education is focused too much in primary schools. It is very important to play as well as learning because, it can develop human brain to be socially present and accept wins and losses in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear from the introduction to the conclusion: you agree that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, and you explain why play should also be included. You address both parts of the question, giving relevant reasons such as reducing stress, building confidence, learning to handle winning and losing, and supporting physical health. The Sri Lankan example also helps make your argument more concrete. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained. For instance, the claim that games prevent children from becoming socially awkward could be supported with a clearer explanation of how classroom play develops social skills. To strengthen the response further, extend each main idea with a specific example or consequence and clarify how formal learning should be balanced with play.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs with distinct focuses, and a conclusion that restates your position. Ideas generally progress from the pressure of formal study to the social and physical benefits of play. Linking expressions such as “Therefore,” “For example,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. At times, however, connections feel mechanical or the reference is unclear. “Because of this adaptation” follows the Sri Lankan example, but the link between the teaching methods and students’ later confidence could be explained more explicitly. The conclusion also repeats several phrases from the introduction. Use a wider range of natural transitions and make links between claims and supporting explanations more explicit to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to education and child development, including “formal education,” “informal education,” “foundation,” “personality,” and “healthy life.” These choices allow you to communicate your main ideas, and phrases such as “accept winning and losing” show an attempt to express more specific concepts. However, several word choices and collocations are awkward or imprecise, including “a stressful life,” “the foundation primary student having,” and “socially present.” Repetition of “play,” “games,” and “develop” also limits flexibility. Aim to learn natural word partnerships and choose precise expressions for the intended meaning; for example, describe children as developing social confidence rather than becoming “socially present.” This would make the argument clearer and more fluent.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional and cause-and-effect structures: “If they had an unpleasant experience … that will definitely affect their further studies.” This gives the response some structural variety, and the main message remains understandable. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction occur in several places. For example, “A student … have” should use a singular verb, while “playing develop” needs a singular verb or a plural subject. The phrase “it is very important … to play as well as learning” also needs parallel grammatical forms. Review subject–verb agreement and keep verb forms consistent within comparisons and conditional sentences. More accurate control of these patterns would make your varied sentences easier to follow.

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