Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years formal learning has become a subject of considerable debate . The development has raised questions about agree that primary schools focus formal learning so much and whether this trend is important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom . This essay will explain the main reason behind this statement and I think it is important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom.

There are several reasons why I agree with this opinion . The primary reason is the mindset of the teachers and authorities . This is because most primary school's authorities and teachers think that they should focus just formal learning instead of other activities . They think formal learning only the one way for children's better future .Furthermore , authorities and teachers views , which means that they want to prove that their school are best also their teaching style and method . I would like to cite , In Bangladesh , it is very common issues because they focus just formal learning instead of other extra-curriculum activities . As a result , children can not perform well in other curriculum activites moreover can not develop their hidden talent .

With regard to it is important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom . I believe that playing is important for a children beside studies. One key reason is that they can explore their hidden talent . In other words , children should play because during playing they get more pleasure and can develop their sport skills . Many children want to perform in the sport fields such as cricket , badminton , hoky , football and so on. Moreover , children can build their future through sports . Which can make bright future for children . To substantiate my view , Brazil produced many talented football players who inspire young people to take part in the sports . As a result , they can make better future through sports.

In conclusion , some people agree that primary schools focus formal learning so much and whether this trend is important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom and I also agree with them. Mainly because school authorities do not think children future , they think just their profits . At the same the i think it is important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions and state a consistent view that children should play as well as study. The Bangladesh example supports your concern about schools prioritising formal learning, while the reference to Brazilian footballers illustrates how sport can develop children’s interests. However, the explanation of why schools focus on formal learning is limited: the claim that authorities want to prove their schools are best is not fully explained, and the suggestion that they think only about profits is introduced mainly in the conclusion. The response therefore covers the task, but its reasons and examples are not developed evenly. To strengthen it, explain more clearly how excessive formal instruction affects children’s learning or wellbeing, and connect each example directly to your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two main points, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “The primary reason” and “With regard to” signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and linking expressions are repetitive or awkward. For example, “Moreover” and “As a result” are used to connect ideas that are not always clearly related, while “Which can make bright future for children” is left as a fragment rather than integrated into the preceding sentence. The conclusion also repeats the introduction instead of drawing together the reasons. Use clearer links between claim, explanation, and example, and make each paragraph develop one main idea in a logical sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “hidden talent,” “sport skills,” and “extra-curriculum activities,” and you attempt phrases such as “To substantiate my view.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main ideas, but the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, sometimes making the intended meaning less clear. Examples include “primary school’s authorities,” “perform in the sport fields,” and “make better future.” There are also spelling errors such as “hoky” and “activites.” Aim to learn common word partnerships and check spelling carefully; more precise phrasing will help you explain your ideas without relying on repeated words such as “important,” “children,” and “future.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “because” and “which,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and punctuation, and some make the reader pause to interpret the meaning. For instance, “They think formal learning only the one way” is missing a verb, while “their school are best” has a subject–verb agreement problem. “Which can make bright future for children” is a sentence fragment, and the opening sentence contains an unclear construction: “questions about agree that…” Frequent spacing before punctuation also affects accuracy. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check articles and agreement when editing. More accurate control of these patterns would make your argument easier to follow.

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