Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely believed that several public think that primary schools concerntate too much on formal learning. I largely agree with this viewpoint but i think it is vital for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom.

There are numerous reasons why i agree with this opinion. One of the significant reasons is it improves cognitive development. Even though it reduces children holistic development, children may achive good result and aquires academic knowlegdes, children into a pressure as well as their brain may become stress. As a consequence, it builds some education knowledge as well as children may face physically and mentally sick issues. A good illustration of this is that numerous schools just focus on formal learning to improve children academic outputs, during the result children may be obtained good result in their exam. Therefore, it is clear that the primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

There are lots of reasons why i feel it is crucial for student to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. One of the major reasons is it maintains physical well-being. Although children may become lose their concerntation on their study if they are involved in any sports, it enhances social interaction and reduces academic stress, children may lead a good life. As a result, children may become multi-talented, which is beneficial for their future. For example, if childrens are involved any sports as well as study, they will be converted into a all-rounder, which is very crucial thing for their future.

To conclude, several people think that primary schools focus to much on formal learning. This is because, it improves their cognitive development as well as it may harmful for their mind and brain. I think it is significant for children to play as well as study. This is becasue, it helps to obtain become a all-rounder.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both questions and state a clear overall view: you “largely agree” that schools focus too much on formal learning, and you consider play important. The response also gives relevant points, including academic pressure, physical well-being and social interaction. However, the explanation is often unclear or contradictory. For example, “One of the significant reasons is it improves cognitive development” appears to support formal learning, although the paragraph is meant to explain why you agree that there is too much of it. The benefits of play are also asserted rather than explained with a specific, developed example. Clarify how excessive formal study affects children and show more precisely how play supports their learning and development.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate body paragraphs for the two main points, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “As a consequence,” “For example,” and “To conclude” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression within paragraphs is difficult to follow because several claims are joined without clear logical connections. In the first body paragraph, the movement from cognitive development to stress, illness and exam results leaves the central argument uncertain. The repeated pattern “There are numerous reasons” and “There are lots of reasons” also makes the organisation feel formulaic. Use topic sentences that state one clear point, then explain and illustrate it in a logical sequence; make pronouns such as “it” refer clearly to the idea intended.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “cognitive development,” “physical well-being,” “social interaction,” and “academic stress.” These phrases show an attempt to discuss children’s development beyond exam performance. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning hard to understand. Examples include “children into a pressure,” “physically and mentally sick issues,” and “converted into a all-rounder.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, such as “concerntate,” “achive,” and “knowlegdes.” Build a more accurate set of phrases for describing pressure, learning outcomes and children’s development, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple statements and longer sentences, including clauses beginning with “Even though” and “Although.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For instance, “Although children may become lose their concerntation” has an incorrect verb construction, while “if childrens are involved any sports” lacks correct agreement and a necessary preposition. Other examples include “it may harmful” and “it helps to obtain become,” where the verb patterns are incomplete or incorrect. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention, particularly where separate claims are joined by commas. Practise building shorter, accurate sentences before combining them with subordinate clauses.

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