Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, some citizen argue that primary schools should focus more for teach formal system. In my point of view, i party agree with this opinion because childern need both formal education and play.

On the one hand, there are many merits of primary schools focus on formal learning. Firts and foremost, primary schools should focus on formal education. Because, formal education can get help childern to learn reading, writing and mathmatics. Furthermore, formal learning teach yong learners to how can start there study journey from zero level to higher level. For example, youn learners get good good result in the future.

On the other hand, there are many benefits of childern to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom, Firstly, if the childern play in the primary schools classroom they can communication with their classmates and learn new skills. As a result schoolchildern will more interested for learn different types of skills. Moreover, childern can undustand the new place for playin and schoolchilderns are need education and play. Because, somettimes schoolchildern are feel stressful when they need outside game. Therefore, education are more important for schoolchilderns however play in the classrom can refresh and active their mind.

In conclusion, primary schools should focus on formal learning because childern need this in the future. Although, i party agree with this opinion because childer need both formal education and play.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both questions and give a position—“I party agree”—with relevant points about foundational skills and the benefits of play, such as communication and reducing stress. However, the position is not fully clear: the essay first supports formal learning, then concludes that children need both, without explaining how much classroom time each should receive. Most ideas are asserted rather than developed; for example, “good good result in the future” does not explain how formal learning leads to that outcome. The response contains 220 words, so it is 30 words below the 250-word minimum; 11 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Develop each main point with a clear explanation or specific example, and make your degree of agreement consistent.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting points, and a conclusion. “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal these sections, so the reader can follow the broad direction. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven, and several linking expressions are mechanical or do not clearly connect the ideas. For instance, “Because” begins a sentence fragment after “Firts and foremost,” while “Therefore” introduces a point that does not clearly follow from the preceding sentence. The conclusion also repeats the introduction rather than resolving the balance between learning and play. Use fewer formulaic transitions and connect each supporting sentence explicitly to the paragraph’s main idea.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use a basic range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal education,” “reading, writing and mathmatics,” “classmates,” and “skills.” These choices make the general subject understandable. However, vocabulary is repetitive and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make the meaning less clear, as in “focus more for teach formal system,” “learn new skills,” and “understand the new place for playin.” Spelling errors such as “childern,” “Firts,” and “mathmatics” are also noticeable. Aim to use more precise phrases for the task, such as “devote more time to academic instruction” and “develop social skills through play.” Check spelling and word forms, and avoid repeating “children” and “formal learning” when a clear alternative is available.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if the childern play … they can communication” and a contrast introduced by “Although” in the conclusion. These attempts show some range, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make sentences difficult to interpret. Examples include “primary schools focus” where a possessive or gerund construction is needed, “formal learning teach,” and “schoolchildern are feel stressful.” There are also problems with articles, agreement, infinitives, and sentence boundaries, such as the fragment “Because, formal education can get help…”. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Review verb forms after modal verbs and in present-tense statements, as well as punctuation around sentence openings.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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