Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Now a days, this is an emerging issue related to schools education systems. Some people think that primary schools give too much attention only on formal learning. I totally agree with this opinion and will discuss this issue in the essay.

The first main thing is that schools want results from students and they just focus on the course work and do not pay attention to the extra curricular activities. For example, schools engage children to study and work, and students have to do homework as well. They do not find any free time to play which is not good for them.

Second main thing is that schools do not have playgrounds or staff who can spend time with students in playing activities. Schools should arrange some activities and staff who can engage children in games and learning the life skills through playing. There are many activities in which they can learn and play ,which should be included in their school work.

In my opinion, students should play and learn as well in the primary schools so that they can learn to deal with others and know skills of sportsmanship.There are many opportunities of learning in playing for children.

In conclusion, schools should focus on playing activities with formal learning of children so that they do not just learn things in books but get experience in practical life. Furthermore, it will keep them healthy and fit and teach them to manage their time and how to balance free time and work time in life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear position by stating, “I totally agree,” and you address both the concern about formal learning and the value of play. Relevant points include limited free time for pupils and the benefits of learning social skills and sportsmanship through games. However, the discussion remains general: the claim that schools prioritise results is not supported with a specific example, and the point about schools lacking playgrounds or staff is introduced without explaining how common or consequential this is. The response therefore addresses the task, but its ideas are limited and under-developed. To strengthen it, explain how play supports children’s development and give a concrete example, such as a classroom activity that teaches cooperation alongside a subject skill.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, a paragraph expressing your view, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “The first main thing,” “Second main thing,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the essay. However, progression is somewhat mechanical, and the relationship between the second body paragraph and the later paragraph beginning “In my opinion” is not fully clear because both discuss the benefits of play. Some links between ideas are also abrupt, while “Furthermore” adds a final benefit without developing its connection to the preceding point. Group related arguments more clearly and use referencing or transitions that show how each example supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “extra curricular activities,” “life skills,” and “sportsmanship.” These terms show an attempt to discuss education and child development rather than relying only on very basic language. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repetitive or imprecise, such as “main thing,” “schools want results,” and “activities in which they can learn and play.” There are also collocation and spelling issues, including “schools education systems” and “Now a days,” which make the expression less natural. Aim for more precise academic phrasing and check standard forms. For example, describe the balance between academic instruction and play, rather than repeating general references to activities.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use mostly straightforward sentence patterns and attempt some longer structures, for example, “There are many activities in which they can learn and play, which should be included in their school work.” The main meaning is generally understandable, but control is uneven, particularly in longer sentences and punctuation. In “Some people think that primary schools give too much attention only on formal learning,” the construction is awkward, and “students should play and learn as well in the primary schools” has an unnecessary article. Commas are missing in places, such as before “which” in the sentence about sportsmanship, and spacing around punctuation is inconsistent. Practise combining clauses accurately and review articles, prepositions, and comma use so that your ideas read more smoothly.

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