Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In this arguid that some people think the primary school focus too much on formal learing while some thinks childeren need to play as well as learn in the primary school. This essay give some adavndages , disadvanges and in my opinion

On the one hand , In this socity now primary school focus too much on formal learing . Fristly , Many govement primary school learning to children to drow pictures , writing a alphabet and songs . However privet primary school first year they learn children to making fast foods , garding , computer and study but They mainly target out side works. for example, Every international school have montly parents meeting programe .That full day parents need in with children and they including that day some games also .

On the other hand, Childeren need to play as well as learn in the primary school classrooms becouse children have a very small brain . Thay cann't focus to much studys .They need play also . No play time some kids going sick . This socity every parents are very busy .They didn't have time to play with kids . Kids also in home alone . Only kids can meet friends in pre - school . Some kids are in very angry mood and not socialies . Last year many children face a deepraion. for instance , every international school have play time . They recommend to parents to leave kids one hours before school start . That time they give kids to play this the friends .

In conclusion ,There have both side viwers . Primeary school need to include play time and learned to children to out side work . Like helping with others ,woshing plates , planting . That how children life going wonder full.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both questions: you discuss whether formal learning is overemphasised and explain why play matters, including the point that children may have few chances to socialise at home. However, the position is not consistently clear. The opening promises advantages and disadvantages but does not state how far you agree, and the conclusion says there are “both side viwers” without resolving your view. Several points are relevant but under-developed: for example, the claim that children may become ill without play and the reference to depression need explanation or support. The examples about school activities and parent meetings are also difficult to connect to the central argument. State your degree of agreement directly, then explain and illustrate each main reason.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs signalled by “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion, so there is some recognisable organisation. The second body paragraph develops the importance of play more clearly than the first, but the overall progression is not always easy to follow. The first paragraph moves from government schools to private schools and then to parent meetings without showing how these examples support the claim about formal learning. Linking phrases such as “Firstly,” “However,” and “for example” are used, but connections between ideas are sometimes unclear or mechanical. Improve cohesion by giving each paragraph one clear main point, arranging supporting reasons in a logical order, and using pronouns and transitions to make relationships explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “focus,” “socialise,” and “play time,” and you attempt to express ideas about school activities and children’s wellbeing. However, the range is limited and several word choices, forms, and spellings make parts of the message difficult to understand, such as “out side works,” “deepraion,” and “wonder full.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, including “small brain” and “in very angry mood.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. Learning topic-specific phrases such as “structured lessons,” “social skills,” and “emotional wellbeing” would help you express your ideas more precisely and reduce repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer sentences, including a contrast introduced by “However” and a reason introduced by “becouse.” Nevertheless, the range of sentence structures is limited, and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction sometimes make meaning difficult to follow. For example, “This essay give” needs subject–verb agreement, while “They need play also” is missing a grammatical construction such as “to play.” The sentence beginning “Many govement primary school learning” does not form a complete, accurate clause. There are also run-on or fragmented sentences, such as “No play time some kids going sick.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “because,” “although,” and “which.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.