Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is believed that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I totally agree with this but it is very crucial for children to play as well in the school.

In many primary schools, only learning become crucial for students due to various reasons and the significant reason is parents pressure. For instance, In Pakistan, in parent-teacher meeting many parents complain that there children do not focus on studies and always spend their time playing. Moreover, schools are in competition with other schools and for good fame and reputation schools focus more on studies.

However, playing is a vital part of children life. If children would not play and just focus on learning they would stressed and bored. Furthermore, they cannot pay attention on their academic studies and get stressed and it affects badly on their healths. Whereas, Schools can focus both things at a same time. Educational institues can teach their pupils in a various ways where they can learn and enjoy at a same time. Schools can display the lesson on screen instead of just read from the books. In addition, children can make paintings at schools. In this way they would never exhaust and bored. For instance, in many schools there would be a pt class and they play cartoons once a week to entertain children.

In conclusion, schools are focusing more on formal learning. But it is very essential for children to learn as well as play in this way they could pay more attention on their studies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear overall view: you agree that schools overemphasise formal learning, while also stating that play is important. The reasons about parental pressure and schools’ competition are relevant, and you suggest ways to combine learning with enjoyable activities. However, these points are only briefly explained, and the response does not fully develop how play supports children’s learning or provide a specific, detailed example. The conclusion repeats your position rather than extending it. The response is 244 words, so it is six words below the required minimum; this limits the space available to develop your ideas. To strengthen the response, explain each main reason more fully and connect your examples directly to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting reasons and suggestions, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “In addition” help signal relationships between points. However, progression within the body paragraphs is sometimes unclear. The second paragraph moves from children becoming stressed to classroom screens, paintings, and a weekly cartoon session without clearly explaining how each example supports the main argument. Some links are also mechanical or imprecise, such as “Whereas” at the start of a sentence that does not set up a clear contrast. Group related ideas more carefully and use references or transitions that show exactly how each example connects to your point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “formal learning,” “parents pressure,” “competition,” “academic studies,” and “reputation.” There are also attempts to use more specific expressions, such as “vital part” and “pay attention.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the meaning less natural. Examples include “good fame,” “children life,” “exhaust and bored,” and “focus both things.” Spelling errors such as “institues” and “there” for “their” also affect accuracy. Build a wider set of natural phrases for discussing education and play, and check spelling and word forms during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional and subordinate structures, as in “If children would not play…” and “where they can learn and enjoy…”. This shows an effort to express cause and effect, but complex forms are often inaccurate, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to read. For example, “only learning become crucial” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “they would stressed” is missing a verb form. There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence boundaries, as in “at a same time” and “their healths.” Practise accurate basic sentence patterns first, then build complexity with correctly formed conditionals and clauses. Proofread for agreement and verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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