Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, it is controversal issue, Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on the formal learning. The formal learning mean, the primary schools focus only reading and writing. And some people against the statement.

In my opinion, I am not agree and satisfied with statement, because from my point of view, it is not good for children health. The primary schools focus on only formal learning but In my opinion, it also effected the children mental health. The playing activities are also included in the primary schools. Because these activities also improve the children health and mental condition.

Playing the games in the primary school it is good thing. There are many advantages and disadvantages. First of all, they also improve the children health and mental condition, and these activities also improve the capability of thinking and how to deal the situation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You give a relevant opinion, stating that you do not agree that primary schools focus only on formal learning, and you mention benefits of play for children’s health and thinking. However, the response addresses the task only minimally: it does not clearly explain how much you agree with the claim, and it gives little detail about why play should be included alongside learning. The prompt also asks how important classroom play is, which is not directly answered. The response is 134 words, below the required 250 words; the 10 words copied from the prompt are excluded from that count. Develop your position with specific reasons and an example, such as how a classroom game can help children practise cooperation or problem-solving.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic sequence from introducing the issue to giving an opinion and then mentioning advantages of play. Phrases such as “In my opinion” and “First of all” help signal the direction of the response. However, the ideas are not developed into a clear overall progression, and the short paragraphs do not establish distinct stages of an argument. Some connections are unclear: “There are many advantages and disadvantages” is followed only by advantages, while the sentence beginning “Because these activities” is not connected smoothly to the preceding point. Organise the essay into an introduction, developed supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use linking phrases to show how each example supports your position rather than relying on repeated opinion markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant basic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “playing activities,” “health,” and “capability of thinking,” so the general topic is understandable. There is some repetition, particularly of “children,” “activities,” and “improve,” and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, which limits clarity and flexibility. For example, “controversal issue” is not the correct form, and “deal the situation” does not express the intended idea naturally. Build a wider set of topic-specific phrases and check collocations: you could describe play as supporting “social development,” “problem-solving skills,” or “emotional well-being.” More precise vocabulary would help you explain the benefits of play and distinguish them from formal academic learning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express opinions and give reasons, using simple clauses and some longer sentences with “because” and “but.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response difficult to follow. Examples include “The formal learning mean,” “I am not agree,” and “it also effected the children mental health”; these show problems with subject–verb agreement, verb forms, and sentence construction. The opening also joins separate ideas with a comma, and “Because these activities…” is left as a fragment. Practise forming complete sentences with accurate subjects and verbs, and use a small range of structures reliably—for example, “Play is important because it supports children’s mental well-being.”

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