Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

As societies change, many people would argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning rather than allowing kids to play as well learn in classrooms. I agree that primary schools should incorporate playing time or informal learning into the childrens' schedules to improve their cognitive development.

Nowadays, schools focus too much on teaching children through structured assessments and tests from a very young age. Following a clear sequential syllabus help the kids build foundational skills in a systematic manner. For instance, kids can evaluate themselves based on their test scores and understand their weak points in order to improve on those topics.

However, I believe that kids should not only focus on formal learning in primary school. It is important that kids have time to play to explore recreational activities other than academics such as sports or dance. Additionally, I believe primary schools should introduce informal learning methods as well where they allocate time for the children to explore ideas independently or do self-reading. This can be beneficial for kids in terms of cognitive development and will also help them explore new topics without being tied to a syllabus. For example, primary schools in Bangladesh offer an ECA period where students can explore different clubs and play in the classrooms instead of studying all day.

All things considered, I believe it is important for children to play as well as learn in primary school classrooms to improve their peer connections as well as exploring their own interests. Although, we should make sure that children do not stray away from academics when learning these new practices.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools should include play and informal learning alongside formal study. You address both the concern about formal learning and the importance of play, and the examples of self-reading and Bangladesh’s ECA period are relevant. However, the discussion is uneven: the paragraph on formal learning mainly explains how tests can help children identify weaknesses, rather than showing why schools focus too heavily on it or weighing its drawbacks. The benefits of play are also asserted more than developed. The response is 248 words, so it falls two words short of the 250-word minimum; the 19 words copied from the task prompt are not counted. Develop each main point with a clearer explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction states your view, the body paragraphs present formal learning and then play, and the conclusion restates your position. Linking expressions such as “However,” “Additionally,” and “All things considered” help signal the direction of the argument. Some connections are less clear or slightly mechanical, though. The first body paragraph begins by criticising excessive formal learning but then focuses on the benefits of a structured syllabus and tests, without explicitly resolving that contrast. The conclusion’s “Although” clause also feels detached from the preceding sentence. Make the relationship between each paragraph’s claim and its supporting explanation more explicit, and use pronouns and transitions to connect ideas rather than simply announce a new point.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “structured assessments,” “foundational skills,” “cognitive development,” and “independently.” These choices help communicate ideas about both academic learning and children’s wider development. There are also some imprecise or repetitive expressions: “kids” appears several times and is less suitable for a formal essay than “children”; “playing time” is less natural than “time for play”; and “explore recreational activities” is an awkward collocation. “Peer connections” is understandable but could be expressed more naturally as “relationships with peers.” Aim for consistent formal wording and more precise collocations. This would make the argument sound more fluent and controlled without requiring unusually advanced vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a purpose clause in “in order to improve on those topics” and a relative clause in “where they allocate time.” Most sentences remain understandable, but some grammatical errors are noticeable. In “Following a clear sequential syllabus help,” the singular subject requires “helps.” The phrase “as well as exploring their own interests” does not match the structure of “to improve”; revise it to “and to explore their own interests.” The opening also needs “as well as learn,” not “as well learn,” and “Although” should not introduce a sentence fragment-like dependent clause after a full stop. Check subject–verb agreement, parallel structures, and punctuation when joining contrasting ideas.

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