Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, people believe that primary schools pay more attention to formal learning. Students need to focus on both their studies and playtime in the primary school classroom. I do agree with this statement. In this essay, I will discuss this view and give my own opinion.

Schools in today's world focus on just learning the material in primary classes. They only want the students to learn the books as it is, and do not think about the mental health of the students. According to research, students who do not get time to play at school, they are more likey to get mental diseases. This is because they get exhausted while studying the whole day. Moreover, if they get time to play, they get more attentive and focus more on their studies. There should be musical period for students as well, because children find it interesting and relaxing.

Moreover, along with studying and playing, schools should also pay attention on practical life skills. For example, there should be separate classes in which students get to learn practical skills such as cooking, cleaning and some essential life chores. This will shape the children and make them perfect for their future. If a school follows these rules and includes these to their schedule, there will be so much positive changes to students lives.

Many people think that schools should not only focus on learning the material, but also include play and real life skills to their routine. This will make them pay more attention on studies. I do agree with this statement that schools should add playtime in their schedule for their better performance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both parts of the prompt by agreeing that formal learning receives too much attention and explaining why play matters. The points about exhaustion, mental well-being and improved attention are relevant, and the suggestion of practical life-skills lessons adds a related perspective. However, the second question—how important play is alongside learning—is not explored as fully as the general criticism of schools. The claim about research is not supported with a specific example, and the life-skills paragraph shifts attention away from play without clearly connecting those skills to the question. Develop your position by explaining how play supports children’s learning and giving a concrete classroom example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Paragraphs generally have identifiable purposes, and linking expressions such as “Moreover” help signal additions. However, progression is somewhat mechanical, with “Moreover” repeated, and the conclusion largely restates the introduction rather than drawing together the main reasons. Some connections between ideas need clearer explanation: for example, the paragraph on cooking and cleaning does not show how these activities relate to the importance of play. The reference in “these rules” is also unclear because several different suggestions precede it. Use more precise links between claims and examples, and make the conclusion synthesise your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including relevant terms such as “mental health,” “attentive,” “practical life skills” and “essential life chores.” However, the range is limited by repeated general wording such as “focus,” “students” and “learn,” and some choices or collocations are inaccurate or unnatural. For instance, “learn the books as it is” does not clearly express learning from textbooks, while “perfect for their future” is an imprecise description of the benefit of life skills. There is also a spelling error in “likey.” Aim for more precise education-related vocabulary and check spelling and natural word combinations so your ideas sound clearer and more academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple sentences and some longer structures, including a conditional sentence beginning “If a school follows these rules.” Most of the meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. In “students who do not get time to play at school, they are more likely,” the relative clause is followed by an unnecessary second subject; write “students who do not get time to play at school are more likely.” Other examples include “pay attention on practical life skills” and “there will be so much positive changes,” which show problems with prepositions and agreement. There is also a comma splice in “They only want the students to learn the books as it is, and do not think…” Practise accurate clause construction, agreement and sentence boundaries while retaining your attempts at complex forms.

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