Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

People learn different attributes during childhood and learning starts from primary school being the first formal institute for a child. Some individuals believe that teachers should emphasis on traditional learning when teaching primary level students. I disagree with this statement because only formal learning will reduce the creativity and lack of extra-curricular activities, such as sports, results in less productivity. Sports plays a vital role to boost immunity and build up confidence in a child.

By teaching the primary students in a traditional way will create negative impact on their thinking process, consequently, reduce creativity. Because teaching methods like one to one interaction and visual presentation are unlikely in formal teaching rather than the classes are mostly dependent on lectures and exams. As a result, students will only read to pass the exams and secure a good grade. Moreover, extra-curricular activities are crucial to make a child active. A survey shows the children, involved in any type of sports tend to be more productive in long run. Primary students can achieve many traits like leadership, critical thinking etc by involving in acctivities apart from the formal studies.

Children who play different sports or games are beneficial in so many ways in terms of physical and mental health. Playing games help a children to increase mobility which eventually supports immunity. Losing and winning in a game builds confidence in a child to excel in different sectors and reduce the fear of failure.

In conclusion, only formal learning will result in reduced productivity and creativity in a child whereas sports helps a child to be confident and ensure sound health by increasing their immunity. So, I totally disagree to the given statement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools should focus mainly on formal learning, and you explain why play and sport matter. You address both parts of the prompt by discussing the drawbacks of formal teaching and the benefits of classroom activities, including confidence and health. These points are relevant, but some are more fully explained than others. For example, the link between sports and immunity is stated several times, while the claim that formal teaching reduces creativity would benefit from a specific classroom example. The reference to a survey is also too general to provide convincing support. Develop each main reason with a clear explanation or example, and clarify how play can be incorporated alongside academic learning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, two body paragraphs focused on different benefits, and a conclusion that restates your position. Linking expressions such as “As a result,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help show the relationship between ideas. However, some connections feel mechanical, and the progression within paragraphs is not always smooth. The opening body paragraph moves from teaching methods to exam results and then to a survey without fully explaining the links. The phrase “By teaching the primary students…” also makes the start of that paragraph difficult to follow. Organise each paragraph around one main claim, then explain it and give a relevant example; use referencing and transitions to make those links clear rather than relying mainly on signposting phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “creativity,” “extra-curricular activities,” “productivity,” “leadership,” and “critical thinking.” These terms help communicate your ideas, and the meaning is generally clear. There are also some inaccurate word choices and collocations that make the writing less natural, such as “traditional learning” where you appear to mean formal or lecture-based instruction, “excel in different sectors,” and “sound health.” “Sports plays” and “acctivities” also show word-form and spelling control issues. Aim for more precise, natural combinations and check spelling carefully. Using terms such as “structured instruction,” “academic performance,” and “physical well-being” would make your argument clearer and more appropriate to an academic essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including cause-and-effect structures with “because,” “consequently,” and “which eventually supports immunity.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make a sentence awkward. For example, “By teaching the primary students in a traditional way will create…” has an incorrect sentence structure; write “Teaching primary students in a traditional way can create…”. There are also agreement and article errors in “Sports plays,” “Playing games help a children,” and “Losing and winning … builds confidence.” The sentence beginning “Because teaching methods…” is a fragment. Practise checking subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete sentence structure, while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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