Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is widely believed that the role of primary schools should be mainly on formal learning. I strongly disagree with this statement because children's mental development is also a crucial attribute that primary schools also should give priority. In my perspective, playing with learning is very important for school going children in order to develop their interpersonal skills.

Primary school is the place where children started their learning officially. As this is the primary sector for education, this should also offer some activities related to the mental development of the children. Teachers in a primary school have to play a crucial role to convert their students to an honest, sincere and kind-hearted person in the future. The students have a young mind when they are in primary school, it is easy to transform their mind to a desired shape. For instance, when a children used to see a teacher as honest, they always feel motivated to be an honest person in the future. Therefore, besides formal learning, it is also a signficant side for primary school to focus on for the betterment of the children in the long run.

I believe that children love to learn with play as their brain stimulates themselves when this happens. However, primary school is the best place after familly to facilitate this as they have qualified teachers. They should take the responsibility to make sure the lerning in an efficient way. All children are eagerly waiting to enjoy some entertainment while studying. Therefore, there should be different activities in the primary school to ensure this because of its benefit. To support this, children may feel exhausted while reading or attending classes for a long time. if they are allowed to a break for entertainment either in the indoor or outdoor, it can boosts the motivation of the children to continue learning more efficiently. By doing this, children can enjoy their learning more effective way and this will leads to develop their skills in the future.

In conclusion, I suggest that the role of primary school is not to be bound on formal learning only, it should focus on the mental development also. In addition, learning with paly can have an immense power to motivate the children in a more efficient way, so primary school is the best place for ensuring these activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

Your position is clear: you disagree that primary schools should focus mainly on formal learning, and you explain that play supports children’s development and motivation. You address both questions, including why classroom activities and breaks can help children continue learning. However, the discussion of the first question is only partly developed: the point about teachers shaping children into “honest, sincere and kind-hearted” people is relevant but would benefit from a clearer link to formal learning and a more specific example. The benefits of play are also asserted broadly rather than illustrated in detail. To strengthen the response, explain how particular play-based activities develop skills and support learning, and extend each main reason with a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs develop related reasons, and the conclusion restates your position. Linking expressions such as “For instance,” “Therefore,” and “To support this” help signal examples and results. However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Therefore” appears repeatedly, and “By doing this” does not specify which activity or break it refers to. The first body paragraph also moves from teachers’ influence to children’s young minds without fully explaining the relationship between these points. Use clearer referencing and vary the way you connect ideas; within each paragraph, make the progression from claim to explanation to example more explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary relevant to education and child development, including “interpersonal skills,” “mental development,” “qualified teachers,” and “motivation.” These choices show an effort to express ideas beyond basic terms. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “the role … should be mainly on formal learning,” “playing with learning,” and “the brain stimulates themselves.” There are also spelling errors, including “signficant,” “familly,” “lerning,” and “paly.” These issues make some sentences less clear and limit the precision of your ideas. Check spelling carefully and learn common combinations such as “focus on formal learning” and “learn through play.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses beginning with “because,” “when,” and “while,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, errors occur across sentence structures, verb forms, agreement, and punctuation. For example, “children started their learning officially” needs a more suitable tense, while “when a children used to see” has incorrect article and number agreement. In “it can boosts the motivation,” the modal verb should be followed by the base form; “this will leads” has a similar problem. The sentence beginning “if they are allowed” also needs a capital letter, and “this will leads to develop” is not grammatically formed. Review verb patterns and agreement, then proofread each sentence for complete, correctly punctuated clauses.

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