Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Yes,I am agree and satisfied with this satatement because in the start of primary school the learning of the the children in very important.The formal learning of the children from primary school is too much important because mostly or all children have to learn in his primary or basic school. Children will learn, what i will traing or give the suggestion because in the primary or basic school children picked the mostly things.For example in the primary school teachers traing the children with assembly in assembly First the play or speak the pray then speak the naat and the pray the national tarana. Due to this children adopt the disciplane in hi daily life.according to the lecture system they learn the time management.The children come with in the proper formal dressing instead non formal dressing.i am very satisfied with the formal learning of the children in the primary school so thats we need to adopt this type of primary schol system children will learn the formsl because in the primry school students learn most of the things in the level of the school.The primary education or learning is very important for children because in this age of limit the will learn what i will givre the training.The base is very important for all children in the base learning is good the children will learn more and more about the mostlty things.In short according to the my point of view the primary always focus on the formal learning of the children.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You express a view that formal learning is important, and you give examples such as assembly routines, prayer, national songs, discipline and time management. These examples relate to primary education, but the response does not clearly answer the first question: it says formal learning is important rather than explaining whether schools focus on it too much. More importantly, the second question—how important play is alongside learning—is not addressed. The repeated claim that children learn “most of the things” is not supported with specific explanation, so the position and ideas remain minimal and only partly relevant to the full task. To improve, state your degree of agreement directly and explain how classroom play supports children’s learning, using a concrete example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a recognisable overall focus on primary education, and phrases such as “For example” and “In short” attempt to guide the reader. However, the response is presented as one long paragraph, with no clear separation between the position, supporting reasons and conclusion. Ideas are repeated—for instance, that primary education is important and children learn many things—rather than developed in a logical sequence. Some links between points are unclear, as in the move from assembly routines to formal dress and then to the general claim about the school system. Organise the essay into paragraphs, each with one main point, and use clear links to show how each example supports your argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Your vocabulary is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on words such as “important,” “children,” “learn” and “primary school.” Some topic-related terms, including “discipline” and “time management,” help communicate relevant ideas, but several word choices and spellings make the message difficult to follow: “satatement,” “traing,” “disciplane” and “formsl.” Phrases such as “the base learning is good” and “picked the mostly things” are also unclear or unnatural. Build a more precise range for discussing education and play, and check spelling and collocations carefully. For example, you could describe play as “hands-on learning” or say that routines “develop self-discipline,” rather than repeating general claims about learning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on simple statements and shows little variety in sentence structures. Frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction sometimes obscure meaning. For example, “I am agree” should be “I agree,” while “the learning of the the children in very important” has problems with articles and the verb. In “children have to learn in his primary or basic school,” the pronoun does not agree with the plural subject, and the sentence pattern is awkward. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with run-on sentences and missing spaces after commas. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add controlled complex sentences using “because,” “while” and “for example.”

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