Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There are people who hold the view that formal learning is focused too much in primary schools. This opinion is correct to a greater extent beacuse there is less trend of hands on learning in primary schools. Its very necessary to learn through creativity and physical activities as well as provide sufficient time to children for playing in primary school classroom.

The formal learning method in primary schools destroys creativity of young brains and burdens them with course load leaving out no space for children to play. They are taught how to memorize and write things rather than actually delivering the essence of any particular topic. This creates cramming mindset in children, who instead of brainstorming start to cram books, preventing their intellectual from developing sharply in most precious time of their lives. Number of subjects and their overloaded books make it difficult for teachers to provide time for playing, and this way they loss their privilege of being children and playing around. Its very important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom as playing keeps their mind relaxed and make them better at learning rather than the case where they are focusing on learning for whole day. Giving four playing breaks in classes schedule showed an increase in learning capabilities of my third grade students at primary school of my city.

In conclusion, traditional formal focused learning is the most followed strategy in primary schools, which makes children more burdened and tired of learning.Primary schools should accept the fact that its of great importance for childern to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree to a considerable extent that primary schools overemphasise formal learning, and you address both the effects of this approach and the importance of play. The points about memorisation limiting creativity and play helping children learn are relevant. The example of adding four play breaks to your third-grade class also gives the argument a personal illustration. However, some ideas need fuller explanation: for instance, explain how the breaks improved learning, rather than simply stating that they did. The claim that formal learning “destroys creativity” is also broad and would be more convincing if qualified or supported. The response covers the task, but its ideas are not developed evenly. The 24 words copied from the task prompt are excluded from the stated word count.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction states your view, the main paragraph develops reasons, and the conclusion restates your position. Ideas generally follow a sensible order, moving from the effects of formal learning to the value of play. However, the main paragraph contains several points in one long block, so the distinction between the argument about creativity and the argument about play is not always clear. Some links are mechanical, particularly repeated uses of “and” and “rather than.” Referencing also becomes unclear in “this way they loss their privilege,” where the connection between the preceding sentence and “they” could be made more precise. Use separate paragraphs for distinct reasons and clearer transitions to improve progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “creativity,” “memorize,” “brainstorming,” and “learning capabilities,” which helps communicate the central argument. There are also attempts at more specific expressions such as “cramming mindset.” However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, including “formal learning is focused too much,” “delivering the essence,” and “their intellectual from developing sharply.” Spelling errors such as “beacuse,” “childern,” and “loss” also reduce accuracy. These issues do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, but they make parts of the response less fluent. Aim for natural academic collocations and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “children, who instead of brainstorming start to cram books” and a comparison using “rather than.” The overall meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors occur. For example, “Its very necessary” needs an apostrophe in “It’s,” while “playing keeps their mind relaxed and make them better” has a subject–verb agreement problem; the verbs should agree with the subject. In “Number of subjects … make it difficult,” the noun phrase needs an article or plural form, and the verb should match it. Punctuation and spacing also need attention, as in “learning.Primary schools.” More accurate agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries would strengthen control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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