Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is being argued that formal learning is more focused in primary schools. In my opinion, it is subjective to the school in consideration, as some schools focus only on learning in classrooms, as opposed to others, where sports and extracurricular activities are also been promoted. I believe that it is equally important for children to take part in games and sports activities as learning in the classrooms.

With regards to greater focus on learning in classroom, some schools prefer teaching the major subjects such as sciences, languages, arts as their priority, while others make extracurricular activities and sports as part of their curriculum, in addition to mandatory subjects. In other words, it depends on the schools and their curricula, what they are teaching and their priorities so parents should take this into consideration while admitting their children into primary schools.

One evident advantage of playing sports and other physical activities in schools is the fitness of students. By encouraging students to take part in sports, games and exercises, they will get a chance to perform some physical activity, which is beneficial for them because of their sedentary lifestyle, which includes long hours sitting and learning in classrooms. With such activities, children can stay fit and improve their overall general health. Other important benefit of playing indoor or outdoor games would be that they can relax their minds and re-energise themselves for all the stress due to learning. It can help them to freshen-up and recharge for the rest of the day.

In conclusion, although some schools focus majorly on formal learning, others also prioritise the sports and games as well. These activities offer greater benefits to students along with learning in classrooms.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider play and physical activity as important as classroom learning, and you acknowledge that schools differ in their priorities. You address both the focus on formal learning and the value of play, with relevant benefits such as fitness and helping children relax. However, the first body paragraph mainly says that priorities vary and advises parents to consider this, rather than explaining whether you agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. The benefits of play are more fully explained, but the discussion would be stronger if you developed how play supports children’s learning or social development, using a specific example. This would make your response to both parts more balanced and fully supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs on school priorities and the benefits of activities, and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress logically, and linking phrases such as “In other words,” “One evident advantage,” and “In conclusion” help guide the reader. This meets the lower-band expectation of coherent organisation and shows some of the flexibility associated with stronger cohesion. At times, however, links are mechanical or the reference is unclear. For example, “With such activities” refers broadly to several activities, while the long sentence beginning “By encouraging students” repeats the idea of physical activity. Make connections between claims more precise and vary how you link examples and explanations, rather than relying mainly on signposting phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “extracurricular activities,” “sedentary lifestyle,” “mandatory subjects,” and “re-energise.” These choices allow you to discuss both school priorities and the physical benefits of play. There are also some imprecise or unnatural expressions that limit the accuracy of your word choice: “formal learning is more focused” does not clearly express that schools give it too much emphasis, and “greater benefits” is vague. “Freshen-up” is also less natural in this context. Aim for more precise collocations and avoid repeating general terms such as “activities” and “learning.” For instance, specify whether you mean physical education, unstructured play, or collaborative games, and describe the particular benefit each provides.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses such as “which is beneficial for them because of their sedentary lifestyle” and contrast structures with “while.” Meaning is generally clear, and the longer sentences show an attempt to express relationships between ideas. Some grammatical errors remain. In “activities are also been promoted,” the passive form should be “are also promoted” or “are also being promoted.” The phrase “what they are teaching and their priorities” is not smoothly connected to the preceding clause, and “Other important benefit” needs an article: “Another important benefit.” Review passive verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries. Greater control of these patterns would make your complex sentences more consistently accurate.

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