Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

There is a controversy about formal learning. Some individuals maintain that primary schools concentrate too much on formal learning. I partially agree with this statement. Although formal learning at very young age helps pupils to fix their goals, most students do not learn those skills which are they want too choose like art subjects.

On the one hand, in many educational departments they focus to much on formal learning this is beneficial for students because they build a strong foundation like in science and mathmatics subjects and they easily solve numarical problems. Furthermore, pupils have fix their goal at a young age they do not feel confusion when they choosing subjects in higher class. For example, mostly students choose wrong subjects as a result, they failed in their semester and this is also not good for their academic career.

On the other hand, most students feel too much pressure by schools to focus on formal learning and they do not spend much time on art related subjects and they feel confusion between their favourity subjects and formal subjects. In addition, many students do not like to study science subjects because they are interested in informal subjects and they feel difficulty when they select subjects for their career. For instance, in Pakistan there are many students who are not interested in science subjects and they forcefully study these subjects as a result, they adandon studies.

In conclusion, there is an ongoing debate about formal learning. I partly agree with this statement. Science subjects help students to fix their clear goal, while some students interested in arts subjects and they feel confusion when they choosing there academic field.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear partial-agreement position in the introduction and conclusion, and you offer relevant points about academic foundations, pressure, and pupils’ interests. However, the response only partly answers the task because it does not directly explain how important play is in the primary classroom. The discussion instead focuses mainly on choosing science or arts subjects, which is not quite the same issue. Several claims, such as students choosing the wrong subjects and abandoning studies, are asserted but not sufficiently explained or supported. To strengthen the response, address both questions explicitly: explain what children gain from classroom play and how it can complement formal learning, then develop your position with a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall arrangement: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The paragraph openings “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help signal the shift in viewpoint, while “Furthermore” and “For example” make some relationships between ideas clear. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow because several points are joined together without clear explanation. For instance, the link between formal learning, setting goals, and avoiding confusion about later subject choices is not fully established. The conclusion repeats the main position but does not bring the discussion of play together. Use clearer topic sentences and develop one connected idea at a time, with references that make it clear what “these subjects” or “this statement” refers to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the general discussion, including “formal learning,” “strong foundation,” “academic career,” and “pressure.” There are also attempts to express distinctions between academic and arts subjects. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the intended meaning less clear. Examples include “focus to much,” “fix their goal,” “feel confusion,” and “informal subjects”; the last phrase does not clearly convey the intended contrast with academic subjects. Spelling errors such as “mathmatics,” “numarical,” “favourity,” and “adandon” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise set of phrases for discussing play, creativity, and learning, and check spelling and collocations during revision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “Although,” “because,” and “as a result.” This shows an effort to connect ideas rather than relying only on short statements. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in verb forms, sentence boundaries, and clause construction can make the reader work to understand the meaning. For example, “most students do not learn those skills which are they want too choose” has an unclear clause structure, while “when they choosing subjects” is missing the correct verb form. The sentence beginning “in many educational departments they focus” also runs several ideas together without clear punctuation. Practise accurate patterns such as “when they choose” and “students who want to choose,” and separate linked claims into complete sentences.

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