Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

NOWADAYS SOME PEOPLE ARGUED THAT PRIMARY SCHOOLS FOCUS TOO MUCH ON FORMAL LEARNING. FROM MY PERSPECTIVE I DO NOT BELIEVE ON THIS STATEMENT BECAUSE THEIR ARE SO MANY TYPE OF EVENTS ORGANISED BY THE PRIMARY SCHOOLS AND OTHER TYPES OF ACTIVITIES LIKE WRITING COMPTITION AND SPORTS COMPTITION. AND IT IS ALSO IMPORTANT TO PLAY AS WELL AS LEARNING IN THE PRIMARY SCHOOL CLASSROOMS.

IN PRIMARY SCHOOLS IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO INTRODUCE OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES SUCH AS SPORTS AND TEAM WORK ACTIVITIES BECAUSE IT IS BENEFICIAL TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF BRAIN AND ALSO HELPFUL FOR MAKING GOOD DESISIONS IN SCHOOL AND OUSIDE OF SCHOOL. FOR EXAMPLE PRIMARY SCHOOLS TEACHERS SHOULD ORGANISED SUCH A TOURNAMENT OF ALL SPORTS THAT STUDENTS OF SCHOOLS PARTICIPATE AND PROVIDE MEDALS. BECAUSE MEDALS AND APPRECIATION SHOLD ENCOURAGED THE STUDENT TO BUILT THEIR CAREER IN SPORTS.HOWEVER, MANY SCHOOLS DO THIS TYPE OF TOURNAMENTS IN THEIR SCHOOL FOR EXAMPLE, IN MY HOME TOWN THE PRIMARY SCHOOLS TEACHERS MAKE A COMMITTEE WHERE THEY ORGANISED TOURNAMENT AND FELICIATE STUDENT AND GIVE MEDALS TO THE WINNER.

MOREOVER, CHILDREN SHOULD LEARN IN THE PRIMARY SCHOOL CLASSROOM BECAUSE EDUATION PLAY A CRUTIAL ROLE IN BUILTING SOCIETY AND ALL THE INFRASTRUCTURE OF OUR WORLD BECAUSE WITH THE HELP OF SCIENCE, MATHEMATICS, ART AND COMMERCE OUR SOCIETY CAN DO WORK. SO THAT IS WHY WE SHOULD LEARN FROM STARTING TO ACHIEVE BEST LEVEL OF JOBS AND OPERATE WORLD.

IN CONCLUSION, CHILDREN SHOULD PLAY AND LEARN IN THE PRIMARY SCHOOLS BECAUSE IT SHOULD ENCOURAGE STUDENTS TO ACHIEVE THEIR BEST IN THEIR MAJOR. AND ALSO IMPACT THEIR LEVEL OF MIND.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view: you reject the claim that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, while also saying that play is important. You address both learning and play, and the sports-tournament example from your home town is relevant. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The first paragraph lists competitions and activities but does not explain how these show that formal learning is not overemphasised. The point about education supporting society and employment is also broad and does not explain what children gain from formal learning at primary age. Develop each reason with a clearer explanation and a specific link to the question.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Your response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs about play and learning, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the main topics. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the sports example moves from a recommendation to a general claim and then repeats the tournament idea from your home town. Connect each example directly to the point it supports, and avoid repeating the same detail. Linking phrases such as “moreover” and “in conclusion” provide some signposting, but the repeated use of “because” and the abrupt “so that is why” make connections feel mechanical. Clearer topic sentences and more precise references would improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “outdoor activities,” “team work,” “development,” “tournament,” and “appreciation.” These choices help communicate your main ideas. However, the range is limited and several spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to read, such as “desisions,” “comptition,” “built their career,” and “achieve best level of jobs.” Some expressions are also vague, including “operate world” and “impact their level of mind.” Aim for accurate, natural phrases and use more precise vocabulary to explain educational and developmental benefits. Proofreading spelling and checking common word combinations would make your meaning clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons and examples, but the range is limited and complex sentences are often inaccurate. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in phrases such as “there are so many type” and “teachers should organised”; the latter needs a base verb after “should.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, particularly in the long sports paragraph, where several ideas run together. Articles and plural forms are sometimes missing or incorrect, which can make relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise building shorter, complete sentences first, then combine them accurately using clauses such as “because” and “although.”

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