Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Ever since the dawn of the history,many folk belives that primary school focus very much on formal education.I partly agree with this statement because formal learning is necessary for achieving goal but also other activities are more important in the student life.

To begin with,the formal education is important because that is a pathway to achieve their selected future goal.First and foremost reason is that formal education is necessary in the student life because it is a pathway to teaching about the student goal they can undersatnd the subject.As a result, they will get a satisfaction job in their learning related.To epitomize,Many student learn about the science and doing job in a very well-known place called isro.Add fuel to the fire,formal education is sometimes more important because the students are understant the formal time-table which is how to running in their everyday lives.

On the other hand,formal learning is necessary but some certain limit because other activities are also important in the children life.The salient reason is that doing some other activities like sports,art and so on,that activities are also ecourage the children and impact on their lives.consequetly,they are more focusing on their studies.For instance,some student's intrest in sports rather than studies because of their intrest in sports they are go back on the sports related jobs.Moreover,other activities are also necessary because that is way to children feel relax and reduce their stress.

Hammering the last nail of this topic,not only formal education is important but also some other education like sports and art is necessary in their life because that is way to students are getting relax and make joyfull as well as formal education are teach the student goal oriented methods

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear, partly agreeing position and address both formal learning and the value of other activities. The examples of science leading to work at ISRO, and sports or art helping children relax, are relevant to the topic. However, the discussion focuses mainly on why formal education and activities matter in general, rather than directly explaining whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning. The classroom role of play is also not developed: sports and art are mentioned, but you do not show how play can support learning or give a specific classroom example. Several points, such as the timetable helping children in everyday life, are asserted without explanation. Develop these links and make your judgement about the balance in primary schools more explicit.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. Phrases such as “To begin with” and “On the other hand” help signal the shift between ideas, and the reader can follow the broad contrast between formal education and other activities. However, progression within paragraphs is often unclear because several claims repeat the same point without building on it. For example, the first body paragraph restates that formal education is important and a pathway to goals, while the second moves between activities, concentration and career choices without clear links. Some connectors, including “Add fuel to the fire” and “Hammering the last nail,” feel forced or do not accurately express the relationship between ideas. Use fewer, more precise transitions and organise each paragraph around one developed point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “formal education,” “pathway,” “timetable,” “sports,” “art” and “reduce their stress.” There are also attempts at less common expressions such as “salient reason” and “epitomize.” However, the usable range is limited by repeated words such as “important,” “necessary” and “activities,” and several choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning difficult to follow. For instance, “satisfaction job” does not clearly express the intended idea, and “impact on their lives” is vague in this context. Spelling errors such as “belives,” “undersatnd” and “consequetly” are noticeable. Aim for precise, natural phrases and check spelling, rather than adding idioms that do not fit the point.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use both simple statements and attempts at longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “because of.” However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty, so the reader must sometimes work to understand the intended meaning. For example, “the students are understant the formal time-table which is how to running” has problems with verb forms and clause construction; “they are go back on the sports related jobs” also has an incorrect verb pattern. Errors in articles, agreement and plurals appear in phrases such as “the student life” and “Many student.” Punctuation and spacing are inconsistent, particularly around commas and sentence boundaries. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea and a correctly formed supporting clause before attempting longer structures.

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