Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

that leads career growth

established well mannered students timetable

for socializing

physical activeness

It is often debated whether elementary schools must concentrate in too much formal learning. As far as I am concerned I completly agree with this statement and think that playing is also important for primary level pupils.

To begin with, people favored the idea that elementary schools must focus on the formal learning due to several reasons. One of the prominent reasons is career growth. Elaborating it, focusing on formal learning emphasis on peaceful competition, encourage into hard work and big gooals which is really helpful for career growth. Likewise, formal learning helps to established well mannered students. To explain it, when school are concentrating on formal learning it teaches students about timetable, discipline, manners, rules and also guidance their future which demonstrate benefits of formal learning.

On the other hand, play is also crucial for the childrens because of the various reasons. Socializing is one of the major factors of it. To clarify it, childrens should involve in activities like play because it helps to built confidence, experiencing about team work and be friendly with otrhers which promotes socializing and it is also better for the personal growth. Similarly, another vital approach is physical activeness. To explain it, playing sports keep fit and healthy and pupils can learn many things such as good competition, teamwork and

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You state a clear overall view—“I completely agree”—and address both formal learning and the value of play. Relevant points include discipline and career preparation on one side, and socialising, teamwork and physical health on the other. However, these ideas are mostly listed rather than explained with specific examples, and the discussion of formal learning begins by presenting reasons in its favour without clearly connecting them to your agreement that schools focus on it too much. The final point about play is also left unfinished. The response is 230 words, below the required 250, so the task is only partially developed. To strengthen your response, explain why the balance is currently wrong and support each main point with a concrete classroom example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph about formal learning and a contrasting paragraph about play. Phrases such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand” and “Similarly” help signal the direction of the discussion. However, progression within the paragraphs is limited because several points are introduced in quick succession without being fully connected or explained. The opening note-like phrases (“that leads career growth,” “for socializing”) also interrupt the flow before the essay begins. Some linking language is repetitive, particularly the repeated “To explain it” and “To clarify it,” and the final sentence stops mid-idea. Use fewer formulaic transitions and develop each paragraph around one clear claim, followed by explanation and an example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of topic vocabulary, including “formal learning,” “discipline,” “teamwork,” “confidence” and “physical activeness,” so the reader can follow the main themes. There are also attempts to use more formal expressions, such as “one of the prominent reasons” and “another vital approach.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “concentrate in,” “emphasis on,” “experiencing about team work” and “good competition.” Spelling errors such as “completly,” “goools” and “otrhers” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural combinations and check spelling carefully; for example, use “focus on,” “emphasises,” “gain experience of teamwork” and “healthy competition.” This would make your ideas clearer and more precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses beginning “when” and “because,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, complex structures are often inaccurate, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “elementary schools must concentrate in too much formal learning,” “when school are concentrating,” and “it helps to built confidence.” There are also problems with subject–verb agreement and sentence construction in “formal learning emphasis on peaceful competition, encourage into hard work.” The final sentence is incomplete, ending with “and.” Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, verb forms and articles before adding extra clauses.

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