Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, there is a debate about primary schools, where some individuals believe that Teachers focus a lot on academic learning. In this essay i will stay my point of view as well as how is vital for kids to play while learning in classroom.

To begin with, the deep focus on learning is less essential for children in schools due to the fact that, kids prefer to enjoy most of the time. However, if teachers would like to atract children in classes they could be creative through combining games with the lesson. as a result, the attention of student will stay with teachers and like this it can be a helpful strategy for both of them.For instance, my father is a teacher and he notice that the children dont like to study, and the only matter for them is to play. After a while he tried to play with them a based game on the specific lessons. as a result, it was satified for children and their parents as well.

Moreover, activities play a crucial role to gain trust and love of children. In addition, instead of just learning the Directors should consider to modify their schedule and do one day just for play and some do quizzes with gifts in order to build a competitive children in the future and at the same time changing the routine of learning.

In conclusion, im totally agree that kids should play as welit is clearly abvious that children dont like to focus on just learning, that is why teachers should change their way of teaching in order to gain attentions of children in classroom.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that children should play as well as learn, and you address both formal learning and the value of classroom play. The example about your father combining games with lessons is relevant and helps illustrate how play may increase pupils’ engagement. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the claim that children “prefer to enjoy most of the time” is broad, and the suggestion of having a whole day for play is not explained in relation to learning outcomes. The second question—how important play is—could be answered more directly, with reasons such as supporting social skills, creativity or memory. State your position more clearly at the start and develop each main reason with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. Connectors such as “To begin with,” “Moreover” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow: the move from combining games with lessons to a day devoted to play and quizzes is abrupt, and the final sentence is difficult to interpret because ideas run together. Some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated use of “as a result,” while references such as “both of them” are unclear. Use one central idea per paragraph, make the relationship between examples and claims explicit, and check sentence boundaries so that each point leads logically to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “academic learning,” “combining games with the lesson,” “activities” and “routine.” This gives you enough language to communicate your main position, but the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning unclear. For example, “stay my point of view” does not naturally express stating an opinion, and “build a competitive children” is not an appropriate phrase for developing pupils’ abilities. There are also spelling errors such as “atract,” “satifed” and “abvious.” Aim to learn topic-related phrases in context and proofread spelling; choose precise expressions for engagement, development and learning outcomes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional structure in “if teachers would like to attract children… they could be creative.” However, complex sentences are often not controlled accurately, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries can make parts difficult to understand. Examples include “my father… he notice,” “the attention of student will stay,” and the incomplete, run-together conclusion beginning “im totally agree.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in lowercase “i” and sentence starts after full stops. Practise forming clear subject–verb patterns and use a full stop when one complete idea ends. Then check each sentence for agreement, tense and punctuation.

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