Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

In many countries parents mostly think the childrens should mostly focus on education rather than focuing on both extra carricular activities and studies. This essay give us insight why learning and playing is essential at younger age at schools

Childeren at younger age are capable of gaining more knowledge when they are at primary school. Firstly, pupils below five years should not be send to schools as this will effect their childhood as they are at very adorable age where they are starting to learn thing by fun so for instance, when they forced just to study instead of learning in fun way they may build negative perspective of education at the begning of their studies may lost intrest in gaining knowledge. Insted of only focusing on early learning if children

Secondly,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response begins to address the topic by suggesting that children benefit from learning through fun and may lose interest if they are made to study only. This is relevant to the importance of play, but the essay does not clearly state how far you agree that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, or explain how play and learning should be balanced in the classroom. The point about children under five not being sent to school also shifts away from the question, which concerns primary-school classroom practice. The response is incomplete and contains only a small number of ideas, with no developed examples or conclusion. To improve, state your position directly, discuss both formal learning and play in primary classrooms, and support each main point with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.0

There is an attempt to organise the response: the opening introduces the topic, and “Firstly” and “Secondly” signal a planned sequence. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the first body point moves from children’s capacity to learn to whether children under five should attend school, then ends unfinished with “if children”. The separate “Secondly” paragraph contains no supporting idea, so the reader cannot see how the argument develops. Some links, such as “for instance”, are attempted, but the example is not completed clearly. Use one paragraph for each distinct reason, connect each claim to its explanation, and finish with a conclusion that restates your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some topic-related vocabulary, including “formal learning”, “extra curricular activities”, “primary school” and “negative perspective of education”. These choices show an attempt to discuss education and children’s attitudes. However, the range is limited, and several spelling and word-choice errors make parts harder to read, such as “Childeren”, “focuing”, “begning” and “intrest”. Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise: “learn thing by fun” and “at very adorable age” do not express the intended meaning clearly. Build a more accurate set of phrases for classroom learning and play, and check spelling and collocations carefully. For example, “learn through play” is more natural than “learn thing by fun”.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt a complex sentence to explain a possible effect of formal study, using “when” and “as”, and the opening also tries to introduce the essay’s purpose. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or difficult to control. For example, “This essay give us insight why…” lacks correct verb agreement and a clear grammatical link before “why”; “they may build negative perspective … may lost interest” combines clauses without a clear subject for the second verb. There are also errors in articles, plurals and verb forms, as in “the childrens” and “should not be send”. The unfinished clause “if children” further limits clarity. Practise complete sentences with one clear main clause, then add subordinate clauses accurately.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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