Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

primary school is one of the best stages of studies that children cross in their life because there there is a lot of tolerance opportunities to learn more and and prepare well for secondary education .i will agree that primary school focus more on formal learning because it is one of the best best education methods used for children because with that method children understand and learn fast.i my own opinion i will say no primary schools do not only focus on formal learning there also focus on traditional learning which is also one of the best ways of studies our grandparents used in the past before formal learning came in.

it is important for children to play and learn in primary school room because the will to be around were there are more familiar and comfortable,and children learning with or playing makes them dull and it will slow them with learning so i will be on the point that allowing children playing and learning in their class room will make them study well and become mature in in good and rapid way.on my own point of view i will not encourage children to play and learn in their class room because they will not be focused during studies

in conclusion on the above topic let us encourage primary school to focus more on formal learning so as to promote good education and progress of children and let us also encourage them to play in their classroom so to avoid accidents.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You address both questions in a basic way: you state that you agree primary schools focus on formal learning, and you comment on the importance of play. However, your position becomes contradictory. You first say schools should allow children to play and learn together, then state, “I will not encourage children to play and learn in their classroom.” The reasons are also unclear or insufficiently explained; for example, the claim that play “will slow them with learning” conflicts with your later support for classroom play. To strengthen the response, state a consistent degree of agreement and explain how formal lessons and play each benefit children, using a relevant example to support your view.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response has an opening, a main paragraph and a conclusion, so the reader can recognise a basic overall structure. You also use a few linking expressions, such as “because” and “in conclusion.” However, ideas are not arranged in a clear progression, and the second paragraph shifts between supporting and opposing classroom play without signalling or resolving the change. Several sentences run together, making relationships between points difficult to follow; for instance, the discussion of children feeling comfortable is joined to the claim that playing makes them dull. Organise each paragraph around one clear point, use sentence breaks, and connect reasons to their consequences more explicitly.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to education, including “formal learning,” “secondary education,” “classroom,” and “mature,” which helps establish the topic. However, the range is basic and repetitive, and several word choices or combinations make the intended meaning difficult to understand. Phrases such as “tolerance opportunities,” “traditional learning,” and “the will to be around were there are more familiar” are unclear or do not express the likely idea precisely. Repetition of “best” and “encourage” also limits variety. Aim for accurate, natural phrases for children’s development and classroom activities, and check that each word fits the meaning you intend.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to express reasons and contrast ideas, including through clauses with “because” and “so,” but sentence structures are mostly simple or joined in ways that are difficult to follow. Errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, verb forms and articles occur frequently, as in “primary school focus,” “the will to be around,” and “children playing and learning … will make them study.” Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, with several sentences beginning in lowercase and full stops missing or misplaced. These problems sometimes obscure the relationships between ideas. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences first, then combine them accurately using conjunctions and check subject–verb agreement.

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