Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years the education system has changed significantly. A group of people believes that for a child play is as important as studying in classroom. I agree that primary schools are more concentrating toward traditional teaching rather than choosing advance techniques.

The reason is, the teachers in primary education sector believes that this is the age when a child learn about ethics and develop their basic knowledge about each subject.That's why, their main focus is toward traditional education in which a student is provided with a task to remember something instead of understanding the logic behind that. For example, in my own school my teachers uses the same technique which we are discussing. They just hand over a task to us which we have to complete before coming to school next day and we were not allowed to add our finding or knowledge

Furthurmore, if we deep dive in to statistics of surveys taken from both categories we can easily can get to conclusion that the student who only recieve traditional teaching are far more behind those who develop their understanding through the mix up of studying and playing. beacause playing keeps the body of a student active and it help releases strees. thats why it is one of the core reasons why these children perform then those who does not get the chance to play their primary education.

In conclusion, primary schools rely to heavily on formal learning. Play is essential for childrens physical health,stress relief and understanding,so schools should balance traditional lessons with playful, hand-on activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you agree that primary schools rely too heavily on formal teaching, and your conclusion also states that play is essential. You address both the focus on formal learning and the value of play, using a personal school example and explaining that play can support activity and relieve stress. However, the two parts are not developed equally. The discussion of traditional teaching is more specific, while the benefits of play and the classroom balance you recommend are asserted rather than illustrated in detail. The reference to surveys is also vague, with no findings or source explained. To strengthen the response, develop a concrete example of a playful classroom activity and show how it supports learning as well as children’s wellbeing.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, supporting paragraphs and a conclusion. Ideas generally progress from the emphasis on traditional teaching to the benefits of play, and linking expressions such as “For example,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help signal this movement. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and the second body paragraph contains several ideas in a long, difficult-to-follow sequence. The connection between the claim about surveys and the explanation of play’s benefits is not made clear. Paragraphing is present, but the argument would be easier to follow if each paragraph had one central point, followed by explanation and a specific example. Use referencing more clearly so readers can identify what “this” and “these children” refer to.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate your main ideas, including “traditional teaching,” “basic knowledge,” “understanding,” and “physical health.” There are also attempts at more varied phrasing, such as “deep dive” and “core reasons,” but some expressions are informal or do not fit the academic context naturally. Word-choice and spelling errors are noticeable in phrases such as “mix up of studying and playing,” “strees,” and “Furthurmore”; these sometimes make the reader pause, although the overall meaning remains understandable. Aim for more precise collocations and consistent spelling, and avoid conversational expressions when presenting evidence. For example, describe a “balanced approach to learning” rather than a “mix up,” and use “survey findings” only when you can explain what they show.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including explanations with “because” and a relative clause in “the student who only receive traditional teaching.” The main ideas are usually understandable, but some grammatical errors occur in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence boundaries. For example, “the teachers … believes” should have a plural verb, while “a child learn” needs a singular verb. In “my teachers uses,” the subject and verb also do not agree, and the sentence beginning “The reason is” is punctuated awkwardly. Some sentences run together, particularly in the paragraph about surveys and play. Review subject–verb agreement and divide long sentences into clearer units; this will improve accuracy while preserving your attempts at complex structures.

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