Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is often argue that early schooI years focus too much on formal learning.I full agree with this opinion that primary schools pay too much attention on formal learning.

Early education has a role to play in children future.The main goal of the primary schools is to make children basic foundation strong in subjects such as reading ,writing

and in math.if they do not focus on these subjects children might do not perform good after primary.It gives you the confidence in very early age that you need in life to be successful.Early education plays a very important role of how children perform in higher classes.Most of the higher ranks official had a very strong primary education and those who did not get good education in starting often face hurdles in life.

Playing also has a very huge impact in children overall grooming.Because it teaches you how to work together and that helps a lot in university and in when you do job.It makes your brain sharped disciplined and and healthy.Sometime things that you do not understand in classroom learn in the ground.For example there are researches that show children who play performed well in education as compare to those who did not take part in activities.

To conclude,early education and taking part in activities both have a role to play in children overall grooming.I believe that pay attention in primary education has a very good impact in children future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You give a clear view that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning, and you also discuss why play matters, including teamwork, health and learning through activities. These points are relevant, but the response only partially develops the task: the benefits of formal education take up much of the second paragraph, while the reasons for agreeing that it receives too much attention are not clearly explained. The question asks how important play is alongside learning, yet you do not explain how classroom time should be balanced or give a specific example. The conclusion also shifts to praising primary education rather than restating your position on excessive formal learning. The response is 11 words below the required minimum, which further limits the development of your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs about formal education and play, and a conclusion. This helps the reader identify the main topics. However, progression within the argument is uneven: the paragraph beginning “Early education has a role to play” mostly supports formal learning, so its connection to your stated agreement that schools focus on it too much is unclear. Some links are mechanical or awkward, such as “Because it teaches you” and “For example there are researches,” and the conclusion repeats broad ideas without resolving the contrast between learning and play. Improve cohesion by giving each paragraph a clear argumentative purpose, using precise links between claims and examples, and ensuring the conclusion follows from the position established in the introduction.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “foundation,” “confidence,” “teamwork” and “activities,” so the reader can understand the general message. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making meaning less clear. Examples include “children overall grooming,” “brain sharped,” “higher ranks official” and “performed well in education as compare to.” Some expressions are also repeated, particularly “very important” and “role to play.” Aim to use more precise phrases such as “children’s overall development,” “improve concentration,” and “perform better academically.” Check spelling and word forms carefully, and choose natural collocations rather than translating phrases directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use subordinate clauses, for example “For example there are researches that show children who play performed well in education…” This shows an effort to express relationships between ideas, but complex structures are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the response difficult to follow. Examples include “It is often argue,” “children might do not perform,” and “those who did not get good education in starting often face hurdles.” There are also problems with articles, possessives, agreement and sentence boundaries, as in “children future” and “early education and taking part in activities both have a role.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build longer ones with correct verb forms and punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.