Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the modern era, it is true that most of the poeple agrue primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I think, there argues are totally unnecesary because formal learning is the way to achieve your goals.

From my perspective, formal learning is the basic need for the children. It helps the children to be consistent and disiplined in their lifes. In addition, from this type of education students easily know the path what they wanted to do in their life or what they want to achieve to survive in the latest ganeration. It helps the students to maitain their shedules and also the importance of time. For instance, without daily routine of learning it is impossible to be successfull in life and the right routine is provided my formal learning in primary schools.

Moreover, by following this path, in which student can choose their desired fields and motivate the learners to achieve what they had dreamed of. In my opinion, formal learning is most important because through this children know the real face of this world.

I think, play is very important if you want your child to do good in his or her studies, Furthermore, play helps the children to be physically and mentally fit. Physical activities plays the most important role in the child growth without this children are not motivated, stressed and weak. By doing physical activities or playing different kind of sports help children to give their best in daily tasks and keep them focused.

In conclusion, formal learning is very impotant in primary schools as it maintain your life in the right angle, and play is also neccesary because it remains children focused.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You give a clear overall view that formal learning is important, while also recognising that play supports children’s physical and mental well-being. This addresses both questions, and the examples about routines, time management, sports and focus are relevant. However, the response only partly answers the extent question: it rejects the concern that schools focus too much on formal learning, but does not explain how much classroom time should be devoted to play or whether formal learning can be overemphasised. Several claims, such as formal learning being necessary for success, are asserted rather than explained or illustrated. Develop a more balanced position and add a specific example of how play can support learning in class.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs on formal learning and play, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “In addition,” “Moreover,” and “In conclusion” help signal the stages of the argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the second paragraph moves from discipline to career choices, routines and success without showing how these points connect. Some links are mechanical, and the conclusion repeats the main claims rather than drawing them together. Use clearer topic sentences, organise each paragraph around one central reason, and explain the relationship between supporting points. More precise referencing would also help readers follow phrases such as “this path.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “formal learning,” “physically and mentally fit,” “physical activities,” and “focused.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, such as repeated references to “formal learning” and “play.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “poeple,” “disiplined,” “successfull,” and “impotant,” which reduce accuracy. Some word combinations are unnatural, for example “maintain your life in the right angle” and “the real face of this world.” Build a wider set of accurate phrases for classroom learning, child development and balancing activities, and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and most of your meaning can be understood. However, the range is limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. For example, “I think, there argues are totally unnecessary” has an unclear subject and incorrect sentence structure, while “Physical activities plays” has a subject–verb agreement error. In “By doing physical activities or playing different kind of sports help children,” the opening phrase does not connect correctly to the main clause, and “different kind” also needs plural agreement. Punctuation is sometimes inaccurate, particularly the comma splice before “Furthermore.” Practise building longer sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, articles, plurals and sentence boundaries.

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