Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that primary schools places too much emphasis on formal leaning such as reading, writing and mathematics, while neglecting the important prospect of children's development. I strongly concur with this view because young learners really needs opportunities to develop their creativity and skills.

On the one hand, formal learning plays an insurmountable role in student's early development. This is the foundation for children's educational journey where they learn skills such as reading, writing and counting which is very crucial in solving provlem. These abilities are very helpful for their future academic success and makes them independent learners but if schools focus exclusively on formal learning student started lost their interest in further studies.

On the other hand, playing is equally important for young children because it supports mental, physical and emotional development. Through games and recreational activities children can improve their communication skills and learn how to solve problem and also learned about cooperation when when they play by grouping. For example, when they play cricket by makinga group they does not only enjoy, they learn how to cooperate with other and how to handles the difficult situation and also give emotionally support if anyone need. Thus, it very crucial for children to participate in games and various compitition.

In conclusion, some primary schools too much emphasis on formal learning which is no doubt imporatnt for their academic success but palying also very crucial for their mental and physical strength. In my opinion, schools should adopt a balance ratio between playing and formal learning in their daily routine.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you strongly agree that formal learning can receive too much emphasis, while also recognising its value. You address both parts of the prompt by discussing academic foundations and explaining why play matters for children’s development. The cricket example gives relevant support, showing cooperation and emotional support in a group activity. This meets the task well, but the ideas are not equally developed: the first body paragraph mainly lists benefits of formal learning and gives little detail about how an excessive focus affects children, while the importance of play is explained more fully. To strengthen the response, develop the consequences of an imbalance and explain more specifically how schools could combine classroom learning with play.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, two contrasting body paragraphs and a conclusion. The progression from formal learning to play is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand” and “In conclusion” help readers understand the organisation. However, some linking is mechanical, and several ideas are crowded into long sentences, particularly in the cricket example. The phrase “Thus” introduces a conclusion, but the connection between the example and the broader point could be made more smoothly. Some references, such as “they” in the example, are not always precise. Use a wider range of natural transitions and divide complex explanations into clearer sentences to make cohesion more flexible.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “academic success,” “communication skills” and “emotional development.” There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “insurmountable role,” but this collocation is unsuitable here; “important role” or “fundamental role” would be more natural. Several spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable, including “leaning,” “provlem,” “compitition” and “imporatnt,” and phrases such as “balance ratio” are not idiomatic. These inaccuracies do not prevent the main message from being understood, but they limit precision and sometimes make the writing less natural. Build a reliable range of topic vocabulary and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional idea in “if schools focus exclusively on formal learning.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors occur across the response. Examples include subject–verb agreement in “primary schools places” and “young learners really needs,” tense and verb-form problems in “student started lost,” and agreement in “they does not only enjoy.” The sentence beginning “Through games and recreational activities” also contains several clauses joined without clear grammatical control. These errors can make some sentences difficult to process, even though the overall meaning is usually recoverable. Focus first on agreement, consistent verb forms and constructing shorter, complete sentences; then practise combining clauses accurately.

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