Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some individuals argue that primary schools completely focus on formal learning while others believe that they should focus on other activities. I partially agree with this statement. Schools should provide a balance between learning and playing. My point of views are explained further.

On the one hand, one of most essential factors is that subjects such as matematics, science and english are important for their career opportunities and it requires a lot of time to learn. Another important factors is that reading, writing and speaking skills are necessary for their better future. For instance, speaking skills help them to communicate with other person, while reading skills are also essential for presentation in big companies. Moreover, a strong academic foundation helps them to become a successful person in their life and also helps them to achieve goals as well.

On the other hand, one of the most important points is that outdoor games are extremely important for children to improve physical health. For instance, some children are not well in studies; however they can play well better in sports. Additionally, sport activities can reduce stress and academic pressure. For instance, some students play cricket to reduce academic pressure. In addition, creative activities improve their imagination and confidence. For example, games such as chess improves their concentration and imagination power.

Schools can organise sports periods and creative activities. Therefore, children can get a chance to show their game and expertise. Furthermore, teacher can use educational games to make lessons interesting. Moreover, they can create a balanced timetable so that children can study and play sports as well.

To sum up, formal learning are essential for their communication skills and better job opportunities. However, sports activities are also important for children to reduce stress and increase confidence as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you partially agree and argue that schools should balance formal learning with play. You address both parts of the prompt by explaining the value of academic subjects and describing benefits of sport and creative activities. Examples such as cricket reducing academic pressure and chess supporting concentration help make the discussion relevant. However, the academic benefits are developed more fully than the central claim about whether schools focus too much on formal learning. Some support is also broad—for example, the link between reading skills and presentations in large companies is not clearly connected to primary-school learning. To strengthen the response, explain more directly how much classroom time should be devoted to play and why this balance is appropriate.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction states your position, two body paragraphs present contrasting benefits, a further paragraph suggests practical measures, and the conclusion restates the main view. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To sum up” make the progression easy to follow. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical because several sentences begin with “Moreover,” “Additionally,” or “For instance.” The paragraph beginning “Schools can organise sports periods” introduces useful recommendations, but its connection to the preceding discussion could be made more explicit. Some references, such as “their game and expertise,” are not fully clear. Use a wider range of transitions and connect each example more directly to the point it supports.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to discuss education and play, including “academic foundation,” “physical health,” “academic pressure,” “creative activities,” and “concentration.” This gives the response a relevant range, and the meaning is generally understandable. However, several word-choice and collocation problems limit precision: “show their game and expertise” is unclear, “play well better” is awkward, and “imagination power” is not a natural expression. There are also spelling errors in “matematics” and “english,” while repeated use of “important” and “skills” makes the vocabulary less flexible. Aim for accurate, natural combinations such as “demonstrate their abilities” and “develop their imagination,” and proofread spelling and capitalisation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including contrast clauses with “while” and “however,” and a purpose clause in “to reduce academic pressure.” Most ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur and occasionally make sentences awkward. For example, “one of most essential factors” is missing an article, “Another important factors is” has a number-agreement error, and “games such as chess improves” uses a singular verb with a plural subject. There are also errors in “formal learning are essential” and “communicate with other person.” Work on articles, subject–verb agreement, and singular/plural forms, then check each sentence for a clear grammatical structure. More consistently accurate complex sentences would improve control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.