Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

A huge number of peoples in our society argue that primary schools have main focus on formal learning. Children's especially in primary schools should always be teached some sports with other curriculum activities. This is the responsibility of parents to take care physical activies of children's with study.

In urban areas, there are very small schools which have not an ordinary play ground. So, the sports for small age children's is also crucial such as study. Moreover, this the responsibilty of the government to take care of children's playing activities so there should always be requried to build the playgrounds in small town and also soponsered the local level competition to engaged the more children's with them.

Nowadays, in primary schools formal learning are very common and there is always need to be change in education system. Now, this is the era of AI and tecnology but in our schools they were not pay attention to this, this is very crucial to teach our children's tecnology in primary schools so they can addopt it on an early stages of life.

In my opinion, primary schools should always be shifted to modern education system to tackle the international level. Also, sport and physical activities are necessary so in primary schools there is always be playing ares and ground.

In conclution, it is very important for children's to play and doing physical activities with study to maintain

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address the general topic by supporting play and physical activity alongside formal learning, and you offer related points about playgrounds, government support, and technology. However, the response only partially answers the two questions: your degree of agreement with the claim that schools focus too much on formal learning is not stated clearly, and the discussion of how play benefits children is brief. The technology point shifts attention away from the question and is not connected to play or the balance between learning and recreation. The conclusion is also unfinished. The response is 15 words below the required minimum, which further limits the opportunity to develop and support your ideas. State your position directly and explain it with a relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Your response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction to points about facilities, education, your opinion, and a conclusion. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Nowadays,” and “In conclusion” help signal these sections. However, the overall progression is not always clear: the discussion moves from playgrounds to AI and technology without explaining how these points connect to the central question. Some references are also unclear, as in “engaged the more children's with them.” The final sentence stops before completing its idea, so the ending does not effectively summarise your position. To improve, organise each body paragraph around one main reason, connect examples explicitly to that reason, and use clear references rather than relying mainly on transition words.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “formal learning,” “physical activities,” “education system,” and “playground.” These choices make the general subject understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes your meaning difficult to follow. For example, “teached some sports” and “take care physical activies” do not express the intended ideas naturally; “sponsored the local level competition” is also unclear in context. Spelling errors such as “responsibilty,” “requried,” “tecnology,” and “conclution” are noticeable. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing play, learning, and child development, and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “Moreover” and a contrast introduced by “but.” However, the range remains limited, and complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in verb forms and agreement appear in phrases such as “should always be teached,” “formal learning are,” and “they were not pay attention.” There are also problems with articles, plurals, and sentence construction, as in “there is always be playing ares and ground.” These errors recur and can make parts of the response difficult to understand. Practise forming accurate subject–verb patterns and past or passive verb forms, then check each sentence for a complete, correctly structured clause. Use punctuation to separate ideas clearly.

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